A week of prayer...

About three months ago I felt God saying that I was signed up for the wrong team for the first week of New Wine. So I prayed about it and then got in touch with my friend who had run a prayer space the previous year. She said she wasn't doing it the first week but 24-7 Prayer were, a few weeks later I was in touch with them, a few weeks after that my application was switched over, a few weeks after that I arrived at New Wine to meet the most amazingly welcoming team.

I came to New Wine this year carrying a bit of baggage about several things and God has blessed me with these brilliant people who have accepted me, listened to me, offered me advice and hugs, and taught me more about God and prayer than I had anticipated.

Between us we've been running an Internet cafe with the best coffee on site (not that I'm biased!), and a prayer shed...open 7.30am- 10.30pm...so not quite 24-7 like it says on the tin but if I've learnt anything this week it's that prayer is not prescriptive, it doesn't follow rules or timings or plans...it's personal and emotional and spiritual...it's conversation with God, and He LOVES that!

For any of my friends who are coming to New Wine CSW next week, I highly recommend spending some time here...it'll still be going! Then head to the cafe for a decent cup of coffee :)

Anyway I thought I'd post some pictures of the different stations we have and share some of what I've been learning this week. There are 10 stations, people don't have to do them in order but they follow the story of Joseph if you do:

1. Thankfulness

This wall of thankful prayers is right by where I sit when I'm hosting the venue and its the most humbling collection of thanks to God. The prayers range from thanks for family, to thanks for creation...and if you ever need something to bring your focus back to God- just think about what you can thank him for...trust me, the list seems unending.

2. Hopes and Dreams

I love the bubble tubes, I could sit and watch them for hours...this station encourages people to write down their hopes and watch them rise like bubbles to God. I really enjoy that God is invested in my hopes and dreams, He's the one who put them in my heart and He wants them to come to fruition just as much as me.

3. Obedience

A simple station...just putting your thumbprint on a canvas. But that thumbprint symbolises your choice to be completely obedient to God...harder than you would think, trust me! I think this station took me the longest when I went round, because it's not a simple decision. It's massively hard to trust God that much that you will follow whatever He says. Particularly for a control freak like me!

4. Places of Influence

Inside this black tent is actually a beautiful sanctuary of fairy lights and cardboard walls that now have writing and handprints all over them. It asks people to think about where they have influence over people or things. I struggled with this one because I don't think of myself as someone who has influence but actually I do...on my friends, on the kids and youth at church...and I need to take responsibility for that and ensure that I seek God first and be a representation of Him to those people.

5. Worries

This station wasn't so hard for me! I worry all the time...about everything! My luggage tag was full quickly!

But tying it up and handing everything over to God, not so easy...and yet so worth doing.

6. God's Voice

This station had people writing promises and prophecies on acetate triangles and pegging them up...you can't really see them all in the photo...but they are there! God is clearly speaking over people's lives and it's been amazing to see how many clear words and pictures He's been giving.

7. Creativity

The amount of pictures that have been created in this space...but actually I think I've found that its more about the process than the product. God's spirit flowing through people to create and enjoying talking to Him this way. People will stay a long time at this station, I did myself. I was just quiet and calm and fun.

8. World Issues

I've been reading Red Moon Rising this week (just finished it!) which is the story of 24-7 Prayer and its clear in that book that its no just about prayer, it's about action...God breaks our hearts for what breaks His and this map is so full of people praying for issues and places. God seeks justice for people who are hurting and He is calling us to help them.

9. Sorry

This station seemed quite late in the order to me, but I get it...having taken time to get in touch with God and deepen how I was communicating with Him, it's important to acknowledge that I'm not worthy. That I am broken and messed up and that I have to say sorry for those things that separate me from God.

10. Forgiveness

Following on from station 9, this space means I was able to go from this place feeling clean and forgiven and loved. God is so good that even when I mess up on the same things again and again, He still offers forgiveness.

Even when He and I both know that I'm going to mess up again, He offers forgiveness and love.

It's incredibly humbling.

The final area is the Deeper Tent...

A space to just be with God...there's a real sense of peace and calm when you enter this tent. It's a place to go deeper with God and spend time just enjoying Him.

It took time for this tent to come together and it was slightly delayed in opening but actually I truly believe that's because it's such a special place and the enemy wanted to try and throw it off track...but we prayed protection and God prevailed.

That's the prayer shed...I've been so blessed to be able to spend hours here at a time whilst hosting it, I've also spent some of my 'free' time here...because its helped me bring my focus back to God.

It's making me think about how I can create my own space back home because everything else has a better perspective on it when my eyes are focused on God :)

From your babysitter

Dear all parents I babysit for (past, present and future),

Thank you for entrusting me with your child, I honestly wouldn't be here if I didn't think I could look after them.

I appreciate that leaving your child with someone else can be worrying, especially if you haven't left them with me before. 

Please don't feel bad about leaving clear instructions, I would much rather have pages of notes than no information (somewhere in the middle is probably best!).

These instructions could be verbal or written but some kind of information is good. It will probably also help you relax whilst you're out and not worry that you've forgotten to tell me something key!

It's good to tell me your child's bedtime, and what their normal bedtime routine is, so that its kept consistent for them. Telling me they know their bedtime doesn't work, because young kids don't know the time and older kids will probably lie. Kids also like to say they "always" have something before bed (milk, stories, snacks), if this is true then please tell me, otherwise I'm probably going to make my own judgment call that isn't always popular with the child!

If your child is in bed when I arrive, let me know if you have or haven't told them I'm coming. When they potentially get up an hour later, it's useful to know whether or not they're expecting me or you...trust me, I've learnt that the hard way!

I love it when you tell me I can help myself to whatever I want in the kitchen, if there's specific food you don't want me eating then just say that. Putting a tray of snacks out is very kind of you, but it makes me very aware that you will know how much I've eaten....putting that packet of crisps in the cupboard somehow makes me feel like I can eat what I want and not worry what you'll think. The likelihood is, I won't eat much anyway so don't panic that I'll eat all your food!

Speaking of food, if I'm babysitting before 7pm then chances are I may not have eaten, I don't expect you to provide me food, I can bring my own, but it's probably worth checking (although extra brownie points go to parents who do offer to leave me dinner!)

Money is a tricky subject because I have different rules for different people. Parents I know through work I would expect to be paid well because they know me from a work capacity. Church families I don't ever charge as much and don't mind doing it as a service if needed, but I don't like it when there's an expectation that I will do it for free. I love your children, and babysitting them (probably) isn't hard, but it does involve me blocking out an evening of my life and just £10 for the evening is a nice gesture, or a bunch of flowers or providing me with dinner...or an offer of payment, I'll turn you down if I know you can't afford it or feel it's a favour rather than a job.

Linked to money is timings. I know it's hard to always know when you'll be back but please tell me what you know. Don't say "we'll be back around 11" and then not turn up until gone midnight.

If you're asking me to stay later than 11pm then it's a late night for me and its worth checking that's ok. If its later than midnight then I would probably expect slightly more money, or an offer to stay overnight if I want.

Entertainment and comfort...it's good to tell me how the tv works, or warn me that you don't have one. It might not seem like a big deal to you, but it's probably how I'll spend my evening so if you don't have one then I'll bring my laptop. Also the wifi password is always a bonus! Telling me where the heating is also helps (or leave a blanket nearby!).

Communication is key. All of the above are small details really, don't feel bad if you forget. Being approachable is the main thing. That way if I need something I'll just ask. I'm also more likely to want to come back and babysit again.

It will also mean that I will tell you how your child has been and you can be reassured that everything was fine.

Each family is different and each babysitter is different, so please don't take my word as law...some people would prefer to go with the flow or don't expect to be paid for church family babysitting...but I feel like I know what I want/need and so am just saying it. Also, these days I don't have to babysit, I do it for a few extra pennies and for fun, so I have the luxury of picking and choosing families!

Ultimately I've been babysitting for 10 years now (my friend Eliza is going to finish school next year and I used to babysit her!) and I'm not about to stop!

I'm just hoping that sharing some of my thoughts might be helpful to you, either incase you hire me to babysit or if you hire someone else. Please don't take it as criticism, like I said, just my thoughts!

I love children and I love babysitting. Your child could throw spaghetti at me and I'd probably still come back (I like a challenge!), but if you come back at 1am and I'm sat cold, hungry and bored in your living room and then you say goodnight without even offering to pay me, then I'm much less likely to offer again!

Yours

The Eternal Babysitter

Some things change, some things don't

So...there's been a few things happening in my life recently and it got me thinking about how things can change...friendships, jobs, family...

And then I stumbled across a facebook note I did over 4 years ago where you had to list 25 'random facts' about yourself and it made me smile:

1. I love to drive
2. I don't really get the creation vs evolution debate and tend to feel really stupid when brought into a discussion about it
3. I don't really like the Simpsons
4. I couldn't have imagined how much I would love my course
5. I love that my brother and I are friends as well as siblings
6. My favourite film is 'A Walk to Remember' the main girl is so much like me in the way she is tentative about relationships and the main guy is so honest and lovely...watch it!
7. I am most definitely, without a doubt, addicted to Facebook
8. I've recently rediscovered the computer game Zoombinis
9. I pretty much live in jeans
10. I love the States, if I ever had to live in a different country I would live there
11. It wasn't until I was 16 and in 6th form that I truly felt comfortable about who I am
12. My biggest dream in life is to have a family
13. I love musicals (and yes I count High School Musical in that!)
14. I vividly remember pushing my childhood friend off her space-hopper and then realising I was being watched and so skipping away with a smile on my face...I was 5 and I think it was caught on tape
15. My favourite restaurant in the world is Frankie and Benny's
16. I love waking up and realising I have a couple of hours left to sleep
17. I used to have a re-occuring nightmare where I was chased up stairs by a blue robot and every time I got up a flight of stairs he would catch up so I would run up another...I must've run up about 500 flights of stairs a night
18. I would love to be able to fly
19. I think my parents are the most inspirational people on this earth
20. As a social worker I don't plan on changing the world, I plan on changing the lives of just a few people...that will be enough for me
21. I cry...ALOT! at films, at sad things, at tv shows, when I'm angry, when I'm stressed...all the time and very easily...sorry, I just do.
22. Without my friends I'd be very very lost
23. I love trashy soaps and tv shows
24. I hate it when people make me feel like my opinion is worth nothing
25. I love the awesome sense of timing that God has


Other than living in leggings rather than jeans, not working as a social worker anymore, and deciding that I should re-find Zoombinis...these things are still all true and they haven't changed at all!

I still don't always get the creation/evolution debate, I still love trashy soaps and tv shows and musicals, I still cry easily and have the same favourite restaurant.

Most of all, I still love the awesome sense of timing that God has :)

Near miss...

I knew this would happen...and yet that didn't change my reaction.

This morning on the way to work, I almost got hit by another car...a near miss.

A bin truck coming towards me decided to overtake a cyclist on a corner and didn't seem to care that this brought him onto my side of the road as I was coming round the corner.

I slowed and we didn't crash, but flip me it was close!

To make things worse it was on my commute road...again!

God is very good though, my lovely friend and colleague Emma was with me and that allowed me to pull over pretty promptly afterwards and she drove us the rest of the way.

She has also recently crashed so understood my reaction and was brilliant :)

As soon as I stopped driving I fell apart...I could feel it coming...shaking hands, tears, flashbacks...it was all there, and it wasn't fun.

All I could see was my car flipping, my back hurting, and darkness. It terrified me,

Once we got to work my boss sent me into her office to have some space (because she's awesome too, just like Emma) and they handled the children whilst I fell apart some more, and began to piece myself back together.

I spoke to important people who love me and were able to understand and calm me down.

I got given hugs by my other colleagues when they arrived and heard what had happened.

I ate toast and drank tea and walked round the field several times.

I took a deep breath and I got on with my day.

I survived. Both back then and today.

God is good, he blessed me in many ways today, and I am so thankful that my first 'near miss' since the crash actually could've been way worse!

Home

I've had about 5 attempts at writing this blog post...just undecided about what to write...in the end I've decided to write about my home.

I listened to a conversation between Mum and a friend today about what 'home' means, that its more than just the building but the people. It made me appreciate my 'home' and my family :)

Home is the building where I feel secure and have my favourite things around me.
Home is having PJ & Hannah back for the weekend or a few days and laughing with them over small things.
Home is evening talks with my mummy about life.
Home is noticing the emptiness in our house with my dad away for work.
Home is someone taking the time to make you feel loved and safe.

This song is from a few films (I saw it in My Sister's Keeper yesterday) and it feels appropriate :)
Not sure the link works very well but I love it :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Am7EI5tdaX4

Patience

Patience is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay...or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties.

Patience is the level of endurance one can take before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast.

Patience...an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”
― Aristotle

“A waiting person is a patient person. The word patience means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen

“Patience is power.
Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is "timing" it waits on the right time to act,
for the right principles and in the right way.”
― Fulton J. Sheen

“Patience is a virtue,
Virtue is a grace.
Grace is a little girl
Who would not wash her face.”
― Dick King-Smith





Patience is trusting God's timing and not trying to push my own plan.
Patience is waiting and using the time to learn more from God.
Patience is seeing the sunshine today and believing that winter will be over soon and the summer isn't far away.

drastic times call for drastic measures

Recently I have been busy...tired, and busy...
It's been a gradual change so I almost haven't noticed it but for the last few months I've been out almost every night a week, busy every weekend and going to bed later and later.
And it's starting to take its toll on me.

A few of my nearest and dearest have pointed out that I'm too busy, my boss has commented on my low energy levels (not in a negative way, but more out of concern), and many areas of my life have taken the hit because of it.

So I've come up with a plan...a two month plan. Two months seems like a good time, starting from 1st April, because its a good length of time and because that'll take me until the next half term holiday. I'm pretty much going to shut myself off from the world for 2 months and take some time to recharge.

My plan includes:
- virtually no socialising, a maximum of one outing a week...house group, church, anything that improves my relationship with God is fine though. This will hopefully mean that I rest rather than go out, that I save money and eat better, and that I continue to recover. There are some social things I can't/won't avoid...weddings, time with family friends...but definitely no more than one a week.

- attempt to make #bedby10pm. This will be difficult because I struggle to sleep that early but next term I'll be working from 8am which is earlier than now, so I need more sleep and it'll help with my general energy levels

It also includes a few things about exercise and money saving...it'll all help me refocus and get things back on track.

So basically I apologise to all my friends who I'm probably not going to see for a few months, I ask that you support me and keep me accountable :) hopefully it'll help me adjust and improve life for me and those around me!