expanding on new wine...

since i've just read david's huge post about new wine i thought i ought to expand on my week. alot of it feels like a blur but i will do my best!

we left very early (8am- thats very early for me!) on sunday morning and after a coach ride where i got to sleep and then chat to tom, jess and hannah, we arrived. We found our site reletively easily, although it was smaller than expected. set up our tents, pumped up air-beds and had lunch. i also went and visited my parents, the challis' and the ross'. they'd set up their 3 tents and a marquee with a small kitchen/eating area.
then Andy (youth worker) called a meeting to lay the ground rules and then we went off and explored the site some more.
in the evening we went to our evening session in thirst (if you want new wine explained some more then go visit david's blog- djchallis.blogspot.com) it was a good session, good worship too.

monday and tuesday are kind of a blur since i didnt feel very well at all, tiredness didnt help either. i went to one evening session and had a bit of a cry- i let myself feel how scared i am about next year. the unknown terrifies me and so some people prayed for me about that, including kat which was funny coz then i asked if she was ok which made her cry which made me laugh and cry which made her laugh and cry. it was one of those hugs where you're crying but also laughing about it!
wednesday morning i had a good, if awkward, chat with someone and hopefully sorted some stuff out. it was also our day off and so Alison and I organized a hunt the leader game which was cool, i think the Pathfinder crowd (11-14 years) were more into it than the older people but it was still good fun.
and after Thirst in the evening we went and watched Peter and Wayne go speed-dating which was funny coz David and i were watching Peter from a distance and trying to work out which ones he liked, we got 3 out of 4 right :)

Thursday was also a good day, BT got himself a girl and we saw the nicer, sweeter side of him come out which was amazing to watch :) God was obviously working there.
Friday we had the footie tournament which was fun...especially since the Sports Leader guys from Thirst were refereeing and they were cute hehe so that was good! we didn't do amazingly well but our guys played well and put team spirit above competitiveness. despite the opposing team's supporters hurling abuse at us and swearing at us (apparently being on a christian camp doesnt change some things)
it was also David and Katy's birthdays which was wicked coz they had a good time and we all got doughnuts!

Friday and Saturday were weird days, the dynamic of the group changed a bit after the prescence of whatsherface drew the boys away and meant alot of us were ditched and ignored. the boys that weren't drawn away felt confused over why the girls were upset and it just divided the group a bit. it especially means i feel i've lost my best guy mate a bit.
the last night was good, extra long worship session at thirst, good games of mafia and just deepening friendships with some of the girls.
by this point i was very tired, the week was finishing on a weird tension and i was ready to go home. this doesnt mean i didnt have a wicked time, i made some amazing new friendships with people i'd only known slightly, i've been invited to a house group for next year, i got a tan and just enjoyed being in god's presence. but i was ready to leave.

you'll notice that i haven't said much about God so far and that's because i didnt really need anything out of the week. I feel close to God and i know his next plans for me. I was still open to him talking to me but i really felt that this week i just needed to enjoy worshipping him and being able to focus on him, but also just be there to serve him. I wanted to be there to pray for others and to just praise his works around me. Having my parents there felt like a real god-send since my 3 close friends weren't with me this year and i was having to start finding my place in the group without them. Having my parents around meant i still had comfort when i needed it but i wasn't relying on my friends when i was in trouble. which i imagine is alot like what next year is going to be like, i'm going to find new friends and new people to confide in and turn to. But having my mum there especially was amazing, she knew when i needed a hug and when i just needed space, i just felt really blessed to have her in my life and i hope me and her always stay this close. We both know we are friends too, not best friends coz mother and daughter shouldnt be best friends, but good friends at least.

anyway that's my blog about new wine, there's still some stuff left over but i had a good week. the weather was good mostly and i just enjoyed being in that world, looking around and seeing people smile back at you. i love everything about that place and i hope i can continue that closeness with god.

one of the reasons that i'm blogging now is that its wednesday afternoon and in 19 hours i will be going to collect my a-level results. i'm getting nervous and there's nothing on tv until 3pm lol. we're going out for a meal with my grandparents tonight which will also distract me, i just want to know how i did. I mean i worked hard and tried my best which is what matters, it'd just be nice if i got good grades too! i can't think about much else right now, hence why i've been distracting myself with writing a blog and printing out directions for isle of wight holiday.
please please please pray for me, this time last year i thought i'd done ok but i hadnt worked hard and i crashed hard, i didnt do well. whereas this year i turned it around, i did resits and hours of revision and i tried my hardest. i really pray that it shows. Also pray that if i don't do well that i'll see that God must have a reason for it and that things will work out.

just so you know what i need/think i'll get:
Psychology- (AS grade- D) i hope i get a D, i'll be very happy with a D in psychology coz i find the exams really hard.
English Language- (AS grade- C) i hope i get a C but i didnt do well in the exam i don't think so i'd accept a D.
Theatre Studies- (AS grade- C) i hope i get a C, i think i worked hard enough to get a C.

so basically to go to my uni of choice (when i apply in october/november) i need 160-180 ucas points which is about DDD. i hope i get CCD but would accept CDD.

keep praying and i'll blog tomorrow once i get the results.
much love xxxxxxx