yesterday was a good day and today looks like it's going to be good too.
yesterday I got to sleep in, very important since I was exhausted, and then I did some homework in the afternoon and some reading in preparation for my lectures next week. then in the evening I went to CU which was fun :) both Rosie and Lucy couldn't make it so I was on my own but a couple of people recognized me from last week and so I had fun...arranged a couple of different social things over the next week which is great...its showing me that CU stuff can keep going even when I'm at home. Now I may still miss out on stuff so I'm still not making a decision but its good to know people are still up for meeting up with me etc.
I didn't think about it all too much yesterday but my one thought was: 'oh I think I could manage to stay over on monday night and then I'll be able to go home' which is very telling...it shows that I'm starting to feel capable of staying at halls but it still isn't the place I feel happiest.
We'll see what happens on monday night, I'll try and stay if I can but I don't know if I'll enjoy myself or be happy whilst doing it. in which case, is it the right place for me? on the other hand, I might get there and freak out again, but I hope not, I don't want it to become this big monster that I can't face.
I had a really good talk with people at CU last night and with a friend on msn and the general thought was that everyone reacts to university differently, some thrive and some freak, I should do what makes me happy and no-one is going to think I've failed if I move home.
Today Hannah Swift and I are going to visit Lucy over at Harcourt Hill, since she couldn't come to CU last night and wants to chat with me about stuff I thought I would tag along to Hannah's visit and it means I get to see Hannah too :)
Other than that I'm staying home and doing some work. got quite a bit of prep reading and homework to do this week. but I'm loving the course still so that's good!
much love xxx
1 comment:
I know you asked people not to comment but I couldn't resist, don't care if you don't read it.
Your doing great, remember a lot has changed all at the same time. New course, new people, new house.
Don't feel bad that you're at home. Family are there for you to lean on for the support you need, and if you need it you need it.
I remember when I moved out of home I found it really hard for quite a while, and I moved out with dean, we'd been together for 4 years before we moved in together.
even I though what am I doing, is this what I want a few time cos we fought like we'd never though before.
But we work through it together.
So don't feel bad about being at home, you never know how things are going to work out. And CU sounds like it's got a lot of friendship possibilites.
So take it easy and enjoy the good things.
I won't woffle again.
Sorry
Ruth.
(P.S. I'll even pray for you)
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