christmas its christmas

well actually its boxing day today but since i was just too darn busy to blog yesterday i decided to blog today.
especially since there's nothing good on tv at the precise moment and i just spent the last hour clearing out my room (yes its almost 10pm, dont ask me why, i just did)



ooops sorry went away from the computer there, had to show my family how amazingly well i'd tidied my room :D

christmas eve was lots of fun, made christingles and hung out with the 2 beths. just generally had a nice time.
christmas day was good too, i got stuff for my room (i'm redecorating it next week) and also a nice white gold ring from my grandparents. plus a gumball machine, cds, dvds, books, chocolates, calender, lots of nice stuff.
we went to church in the morning and got lots of laughs out of one of PJ's stocking presents (101 things to do during a dull sermon). then had a very yummy lunch at nan and grandad's, i'm not sure i've ever eaten so much for christmas day lunch- it wasnt a traditional lunch but it tasted good!
then we came home and played our family christmas present- a wii!!!!! very exciting and very fun :)

however boxing day has arrived and the wii has revealed its dark side- as just another thing my brother thinks he knows everything about.
it was ok for the first part but then when mum and i couldnt get one of the games he had a go at us- said we werent doing it right. unfortunately this is one of the things that winds me up most about PJ; when he's good at something he acts like no-one else can do it and like he knows best. this has always wound me up and probably always will. i just walked away.
it was the best thing for everyone because it meant that i calmed down pretty quickly (although got annoyed again later).
overall boxing day was its usual weird, post-christmas day. PJ made it up to me how he always does by 'acts of service' (you need to read 'five languages of love' to understand)

tomorrow we have most of dad's side of the family coming over (grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousin ruth and her fiance and baby girl) should be ok. it means a few more pressies and just nice family time.

for the rest of the week i plan to continue to clear out my room in preperation for decorating next week. and also next monday is new years eve...the annual Brombley/Challis/Ross/Nash Murder Mystery Party will of course be taking place. Medieval themed this year, i am a peasant girl- looks to be fun :D

and next week i'm decorating my room, hopefully going to london and generally enjoying my time off work. hopefully hear from a few more universities, but who knows.
i just want to sleep, relax and slowly watch the next 2 weeks go by before i have to go back.

pray that this cold goes away because although i'm feeling better it is not going away at the moment, and also that i have appropriate rest :)
much love xxx

what christmas means to me

is food, drinks, family, friends, music, laughter etc.
all of which i experienced tonight at the godzone upfront christmas party, which i still get to go to :D
we all ate together and chatted and then the 'teenagers' (Kat, PJ, Mireille and I) grabbed some drinks, walked up the road to Kat's house and watched High School Musical. A great night if you ask me.

tomorrow i'm not doing much, making biscuits, shopping, sleeping. all good things.
then on sunday it gets busy again. Godzone carol service (i'm back!!!!!), then i'm helping organize the evening service so that'll take up lots of time.
monday is christmas eve- i'll be in charge of making christingles, 425 of them to be exact, am hoping lots of people come to help! and then actually going to christingle services.
and then on tuesday it is christmas day!!!!! i'm getting very excited :D i love this time of year.

mostly i can't wait to get a break from work. this last week i've had a horrible flu cold type thing, wednesday night was the worst, my eyes were streaming and i couldnt breathe very well-not nice!
i'm starting to feel a bit better, helped along by good medicines, hopefully it'll be gone by christmas. but i've still been working and been busy so that hasnt helped.

anyway i'm off to bed, need sleep!!
much love xxxx

(4 days until christmas!!!!!)

all i want for christmas

is some sleep please!
sorry that its been so long since my last post but i've had a busy week and now i'm in the middle of a super busy weekend.
friday night i had the genesis christmas party. today i had time out for christmas, this afternoon i looked after the murray children, in an hour i'm off to do the space christmas party. tomorrow i've got the LF carol service, in the afternoon i'm at a cell social and then in the evening is the big carol service at church.

i'm grabbing 5 minutes to basically say that i am very tired, fighting off a cold and only half way through a very very busy weekend.
next week is quieter work-wise but alot busier socially since my friends are back from uni now.
next weekend is busy again and then its actually christmas!!!

please pray for me, that i'd get some sleep and appropriate rest after this weekend!
although i'm having alot of fun, its just extremely tiring.
thanks
much love xxxx

O Come All Ye Faithful

the title is slightly more traditional that i'd planned but it felt appropriate for today.
since today i've really been tested on my faith in God's plan for me.
today i heard back from bournemouth uni about my uni application. it was unsuccessful. which is basically a no.
now it was only my 3rd choice uni and i barely made the required ucas points but i thought that based on my work experience and the fact that i already had my grades that i would probably get offered a selection day. probably me just being complacent really. but they said no. which if course made me question whether other uni's would also reject me.
but then i stopped myself and realised that God has a plan. and this is actually a good sign because UWE is where i want to go and that door hasnt been closed yet.
i guess i have to trust God and wait to hear back from the other uni's.

on a much more exciting note, i just watched St Nicholas Day.
at St Nicholas Primary School they have this annual day where they celebrate St Nic. this is usually around christmas as there is old tales about St Nic being where Santa Claus came from. on St Nic's birthday kids would put out their shoes to see if he left them coal or money.
or something like that...its been a while!
but on St Nic's day at school all the kids would line up along Boxhill Walk (a road outside the school and right by my house) and 'St Nicholas' would come down the road in his carriage and we would sing to him. Everyone would get a pencilcase or something and a gingerbread man and the younger ones would get to meet St Nic. It would just be one of the best days of the whole school year.
anyway so i'd been at JMS to drop off some stuff for Kat and as i walked back the kids were starting to come out, slowly the penny dropped and i got quite excited. I saw Little Miss Ross (my godsister) and waved and then stopped near my house to watch at St Nic came down the road.
it was brilliant. i know it sounds silly but it really brightened up my day :D

anyway this evening my mum and i are going to oxford to do a spot of late night christmas shopping. and then tomorrow i'm doing my actual christmas shopping.
miss anna is back home from uni, seen her like 3 times already hehe and kate is back tomorrow and beth is back next week. its exciting seeing my friends again, didnt realise how much i miss them. but its ok coz when they go again i have all my house group friends and other people so its not too bad :)

right i'm off to finish off some work before stopping for the day :)
much love xxx

the back's where its at!

on friday night i was in birmingham seeing mcfly in concert :D keep your opinions to yourself, they are my favourite band and it was an amazing show. they came to a smaller stage near the back part way through and just in all it was a fantastic gig. i had a great time with kat, swifty and my hannah. plus my dad came along to drive us (i realise i can drive but i didnt really want to drive to birmingham) and also came into the gig. i think he had alot of fun hehe and he was cooler than the parents who were waiting outside for their kids at the end!

then last night i was in stratford to see a play- that's right darrrling, stratford as in shakespeare's town. it was simply fabulous :D hehe. saw 'noughts and crosses' (the book thats been turned into a play) it was so good, done by the royal shakespeare company and i cried at the end. the lead actor was cute too which is always a bonus :D

today i've already been to LF to do lazers (11-14's group) which went well. and then afterwards i was talking to Alison (Mike's mum) and basically invited myself round to her house next week hehe well i asked if we could have a cell social at their house. and we can so that should be good fun next week.
tonight is normal cells but its christmas themed- speaking of which its now advent so from now on my blogs will have christmas song titles methinks because i love christmas! everything about it, i really love it!
infact this afternoon my family and i are going to notcutts (local garden centre) to look at their christmas display, this is a traditional trip- sad i know but i love it. it makes me realise that christmas is coming!

anyway that's all my news for now. this week should be good. i've got lunchclubs like normal and usual cell group and peer leaders. but on friday (my day off) i am going christmas shopping!! i'm very excited :D i love christmas and i love shopping. i'm not a normal person who gets stressed out by christmas shopping, i love it.


ooooh!! i almost completely forgot to give you the absolutely best news of my week!
i have officially applied to university!
i've sent off my ucas application and am now just waiting to hear back. its very scary but am relieved to be done with it.

thats all :)
much love xxx

sarah's choice: teal or crimson

well after a week's rest i'm feeling alot better. i went to church this morning and had alot of fun :)
i spent last week resting and watching tv. it was nice to have time to get back to full health. although i'm still coughing, i feel better in myself.

this afternoon mum and i went shopping for stuff for my room. i have decided over christmas to have a real clearout of my room and also to redecorate.
now dont panic people, i have thought about my gorgeous lily mural and dont worry the artiste is going to paint another one for me.
however this has left me with a horrible choice. what colour to go for??
the plan is to do the back wall in a bold colour and the other 3 in cream and then to have curtains and cushions to match the coloured wall.
i've found the most amazing curtains, very dramatic colours and beautiful. but what colour to have them in? teal or crimson?
i like both and am slightly leaning towards the teal but at the moment i'll take opinions.
if you know me and/or know my room then please feel free to let me know your thoughts.
it may not seem a big deal hehe but its probably the last time i will ever decorate my room :( and i want to get it right.

tonight i'm out at space which should be good fun. got quite a bit of work to do this week in order to catch up from last week but shouldnt be too bad.
then on friday is the big event...the mcfly concert :D am excited about going.
plus on the saturday i'm going to see 'noughts and crosses' in stratford (based on the book)
then next week i'm going to do some christmas shopping which i'm actually quite looking forward to!

hope thats a good update, i imagine there will be another one at some point next week too :)
much love xxx

weekend away 07- no voice, lots of fun and a very muddy stevie...

apologies for my late blog after the weekend away but you will understand why once you read this.

on friday i woke up at 6am and felt like my throat was closing..completely typical. i had to get a sore throat just before the weekend away. but i thought 'i'll be ok, just take lots of painkillers and it'll be fine'
at 2pm Ed and i headed down to kent. it was a very memorable trip. i'll admit i didnt know whether we'd have that much to talk about but it was one of the most hilarious road-trips ever! i played him relient k, we ate sweets, talked about nonsense and got lost...deliberately of course!
unfortunately after moving alot of chairs and tables and setting up alot of stuff i was feeling pretty bad. then all the youth arrived and the fun began :) my voice was croaky though.

got up early on saturday morning and my voice was getting worse. particularly since i then did high ropes with the genesis guys and talked alot. i was good and didnt shout too much though. i didnt really do many of the high ropes but it was good fun and the instructor was lovely.
but by lunchtime i'd lost my voice completely and my throat was hurting alot. it meant i couldnt lead the parts of the teaching sessions i was supposed to. Aidan and Becky were stars though and took over for me. it was good fun. I also then went with the genesis group to do low ropes which was fun but equally tiring. by dinner time i was feeling very tired, very ill and very down. so i decided to go have a nap for an hour before the evening session.
i wanted to talk to my mum but couldnt ring her coz she wouldnt be able to hear me which made me cry lol but texted her for a bit and then went to sleep.
next thing i knew it was 9pm and i'd missed the session :( i wasnt feeling any better so i got changed and went to bed properly, hoping that by the morning i would feel better.

sunday morning and my voice was back but still very croaky. i was with space for the day which was brilliant. alison and i oversaw a military style operation of cleaning the lodge before doing the last teaching session. again i couldnt lead my bit but we did watch the film (hopefully appearing on youtube/facebook as soon as we figure out how to do it legally) which was absolutely brilliant- speeded up, black and white, Aidan playing Jesus and Andy in charlie chaplin style...need i say more??
then we did the low ropes course with the space guys. it was brilliant. i had a wicked group and we got round well. everyone finished early so a gladiator style fight was encouraged. it took place on a long log over a muddy swamp. this fight was between stevie and pj...a clearly fair fight. needless to say stevie ended up quite muddy. stevie then took on alex corps and lost. plus he then tried to walk across the log...silly boy!
once back at the lodge pj kindly hosed him down which was funny! bless stevie was soaked and cold so i got him a towel. it was a fun last event :)
then at the final get-together it was announced that space had won the egg cup challenge which was cool, i'd been with both groups so would have been happy with either of them winning.
then we had our traditional group photo and headed back in for lunch before leaving.
lunch was probably one of the funniest events of the weekend, mostly because Pete, Mike and i had a brilliant conversation :D and also because Alison and i had guessed that lunch would run late and we kept catching each other's eyes across the room and laughing because it was indeed late.
then i went back on the coach because Aidan swapped with me, although it didnt make much difference in the end. i slept most of the way back which was nice.

so basically it was a really good weekend although i felt pretty rubbish for most of it.
i spent sunday evening watching tv and just resting.
during monday night i woke up and took some ibuprofen coz i felt bad still...unfortunately if you take ibuprofen on an empty stomach it can irritate your stomach and make you sick.
something that i didnt know but had the pleasure of realising as i threw up the contents of my stomach at 3am. at that point i was laughing to myself coz it felt a bit like i'd thought i couldnt feel much worse and then i'm throwing up so i guess i was wrong.

needless to say on monday i still felt really bad so went to see the doctor although it wasnt much help, apparently its a viral throat infection and the only way i'm going to get better is to rest lots and drink lots of fluids. so i took today off work and havent done anything. i feel slightly better but not much so i think i wont be going to work tomorrow either but probably go back for thursday.
hope that highlights my weekend, it had good parts but for the most part i'm glad to be home and resting.
prayers for my health please :)
got some busy weekends coming up
much love xx

procrastination...

wow my second blog in one week, that hasnt happened in a while, and it clearly has nothing to do with the fact that i have work to do and am using my blog to avoid doing it!

i worked hard after cells yesterday and did some more work, despite feeling slightly sick :(

today i have lunchclub, then meeting V (my mentor), then going round to andy and emma's to cut out some cardboard shields (don't ask), then going to the gym with my mum and val. plus i need to start packing and also planning the sessions i'm leading this weekend.
then this evening i have....you may need to sit down to hear this....i have a night off!


take some deep breaths as you get over that shock :P
i'm viciously protecting my night off tonight too. even if that means that my day is very busy and packed full of jobs.

but before lunchclub i'm going to my nan and grandad's for lunch, this has been one of the upsides of my gap year. i can phone in the morning and then just go round to their house and my nan will make me amazing sandwiches and i dont have to worry about making it myself or anything. and i get to see my grandparents for a bit and talk to them about everything and nothing. plus it means i get brownie points coz i'm seeing them each week and they love to see me :)

however right now i need to go finish preparing for the lunchclub i'm supposed to be leading in 2 hours!
due to my first aid course tomorrow i doubt i'll blog tomorrow and then it's the weekend away so be prepared for a long blog on sunday night or monday :D
keep me in your prayers
much love xxx

drowning in paper...

i have too much paper around me!
i dont want to forget to do something that i need to do before friday so i have piles of paper all over my desk.
'what's friday?' i hear you ask. well friday is when the fun/tiring/hectic/crazy/god-filled weekend away officially begins!
weirdly enough i haven't had time to get excited about it being 3 days away because i have too much to do before then! its so different being a leader to being a youth member...the weekend away has the added stress of actually needing to know whats happening!

tomorrow is my last day to prep everything and i keep thinking that it's wednesday today and starting to panic but it isn't...it's only tuesday, i still have time.
thursday doesnt count as a day because i'm away in aylesbury all day on a first aid course- i hope it goes ok, i haven't really had time to worry about not knowing anyone there or not knowing where it is or anything like that.
and on friday i leave early at 1pm so have to spend the morning packing and sorting the final few details.

oh plus we have genesis cells tonight and jms lunchclub tomorrow (which i'm leading) and i'm meeting V (my mentor) and i'm expecting my personal statement back any time now.

ever feel like your head is going to explode?!
however i have a secret weapon in all of this....God :D
ok...so he's not so secret but he is still keeping me calm and making the day go nice and slowly so i can get my work done.

i know this isn't a very long blog but its only 3.45 and i still have a lot of work to do before cells at 6pm, plus i ought to eat some tea at some point!
prayers please for this weekend- particularly for myself and for the first aid course on thursday which i will no doubt panic about late on wednesday night!
much love xxx

an autumn spring clean

we saw, we battled and we conquered.
the godzone cupboards are now officially sorted out.
not only are they in some sort of order but the stuff is all in boxes and there is a new 'props and games' cupboard for use by childrens or youth work.
val and i worked tirelessly most of the day and although it was tough and exhausting, there was a real satisfaction at the end :)
plus it was brilliant to talk to val all day, got some good advice and just had a laugh.

it's been a busy week and i know it's not going to get any better since the weekend away is coming up. however i dont mind because it's the weekend away and it's going to be amazing!
:D i'm really looking forward to it, doesnt matter whether i'm a leader or a member of the youth, the weekend away is a massive combination of high energy, worship, silly games, new friendships, teaching and inside jokes. plus its a visual insight into how god can meet with people in so many different ways.

but before the busyness continues i have tomorrow off :) i also had tonight off although i used it to babysit, which was pretty relaxing actually since it was for Ron & Ruth's little girl (Ron is the new minister at LF) and they are just lovely and i feel comfortable chilling out in their house.
as for tomorrow, i plan to sleep in until midday hopefully (i havent been sleeping well- prayers for that please) and then go window shopping, i am completely broke at the moment but there's no harm in looking, in fact it's alot of fun! i'm probably also going to have a night in infront of the tv....

lol when did my perfect day become sleeping in, window shopping, staying in to watch tv. i dont care if it sounds like i don't have a social life because quite frankly i dont have a social life.
my friends are away at uni mostly, i see my house group who are great and some other friends, but doing a gap year can be quite lonely friends-wise. you dont have the same best girl friends as you did at school, or at least they aren't around at the moment.
it's lonely sometimes but it also means i've discovered new levels of friendship with other people; my parents, val, people in my house group...and to be honest, my brother. he still annoys me ALOT but most of the time he's always there to hang out with.
and i think i'm ok with that.
plus there's god :) he's always there to talk to, plus he understands and forgives when i get upset or mad.

anyway, after my little off-topic tangent i am going to go to bed since it's late and i have time to write a better blog tomorrow :)
much love xxx

gonna razzle dazzle 'em!

hello one and all
(notice it in monday night and so less than a week since i last posted haha!)
my last week has been up and down.
i was ill on wednesday and thursday but got better on friday and saturday which let to me going to see 'chicago' in London on saturday night (more about that later) which then made me feel ill on sunday so i had to cancel doing work on sunday. but i feel better today for resting.

'chicago' was sooooo good :D it was a long day and taking the train wasnt so great but the show itself was very good. i'd never seen chicago before and i'd only seen bits of the film but i loved the show! all the songs were great and Kat and i got tops with 'razzle dazzle' on them :)

this week is going to be busy but good.
since from wednesday onwards my work is going to be focused on planning the weekend away (we have a planning meeting on wednesday night), i'm going to use tomorrow to do all the jobs i should have done a couple of weeks ago. you know the jobs i'm talking about...the not urgent jobs with no deadlines, the 'i need to do this at some-point' type jobs. like putting together youth photo frames, writing a cell outline, looking at some material, folding programs. those sort of jobs. plus i have fitzharrys lunchclub and then genesis cell groups in the evening.

so tuesday should be a fairly ok day, wednesday might be busy. on thursday val and i are going to sort out the godzone cupboards and make a props cupboard for the kids and youth work. if you know they godzone cupboard then you know this could take most of the day!
friday is my day off and i don't have anything planned :D which is a definitely a good thing!
on saturday i'm going ice-skating and then on sunday i have normal church stuff.
should be a pretty ok week...but i wont speak too soon hehe since my week tends to be up and down.

as for tonight, i am going to go to bed and hopefully get a really good night's sleep.
ooh and on other news, i have a new phone :) same number but new phone!

but i'm off to bed now.
night night, much love xxx

kiss the girl

sha-la-la-la-la-la go on and kiss the girl...
hehe i'm listening to disney :)

am back to work, its very busy since we now have lots to do for the weekend away too.
and to make things even better i have a sore throat/cold thing :(
its that awful kind that makes you feel slightly rubbish but not rubbish enough to retreat to your bed instead of going to work.

on the plus side i have my new phone :) its very exciting and thin and cool and new!
cells on sunday was good, my cell joined with PJ's cell coz we both only had 3 or 4 people and so we wrote letters to Anna for the welcome and then had a good discussion about money and life etc.

this saturday i am going to see chicago with Kat which should be good, it's for her 16th birthday and we have amaaazing seats (thats amaaazing not amazing) and are both excited about it :D

i have alot of stuff to do for work but looks like i'll have some time this afternoon and tomorrow afternoon to do them so that's good.
and the next 4 weeks are going to fly by and then its christmas :D :D :D

my prayer request is that this cold doesnt get worse and i can keep up my energy for the next several crazy weeks!
much love xxx

half-term- half over...

its thursday which is about half way through half term...i wish half term was longer!
at least christmas is going to be soon and the next 6 weeks will fly by.
went material shopping today with my nan, she's making loads of costumes for our traditional new year's eve murder mystery- it's medieval themed, i am a peasant girl...however i'm determined to have best outfit again!

now that should be confused with the murder mystery PJ and i are hosting tomorrow night. that one is for friends of ours and is las vegas themed. should be a good night :)

i'm also going food shopping tomorrow for my parents and i'm away at southampton solent open day on saturday and then it's the light party and usual church stuff on sunday so i figured i should post a new blog today coz before i know it monday will be here.

before we go to southampton on saturday i will be getting my new phone :) don't worry it's the same number, just nice new upgrade phone!

next week i'm back at work and then on saturday Kat and i are seeing Chicago in London for her birthday :D we've got amazing seats and i'm very excited.
i should also have heard back from Miss T (my old teacher) about my personal statement and how much i need to do to it. but i should be sending off my uni application in the next couple of weeks. i'm excited about that too, i can't wait to go to uni :) right now i feel like i'm stuck in a sort of limbo where my older friends have moved away and my younger friends are part of the youth group i help at so its difficult to have the same sort of friendship with them.
i'm enjoying this year, at least for the most part, but at the same time i can't wait for the year to be over so i can get onto the next exciting step of my life.

i've been learning to lean on God alot recently. because although sometimes i get frustrated and question why i am here, i am also talking to Him about it which is a good thing. I know he has plans for my life and part of those plans is to be here this year.
He's also given me a verse to claim as my own. I felt him say it to me at new wine and then at holiday club and then two seperate people mentioned the verse to me and i had a sense that it was from Him. That verse is Psalm 46:10 'Be still and know that I am God'
i need to learn to not panic when things are chaotic or feel out of my control and to just take a breath and be still.

those are my bits of news and reflections for today :)
much love xxx

ah well...

we lost :( 15-6 i think the final score was.
but we played well, came very close at one point but in the end south africa won.
i'm still very proud of our team and even though my boy couldnt play he was there to support them and i was proud of him :)

now i plan to watch some crime tv shows and then go to bed before church tomorrow morning. matt, kathryn and issac (my godfather and his family) are coming for lunch tomorrow too so that should be good fun.
then i intend to enjoy my week off!

i'm feeling less shaken up after today's drama, please keep praying though
much love xxxx

half term, prayers and more rugby

firstly please pray for my friend and myself as we were involved in a collision today. my friend was driving and a young girl stepped into the back of my friend's car as we were driving in a multi-story carpark.
i dont want to explain more than that. it wasnt my friend's fault and the girl is fine, but we have had to report it and its shaken us both up, especially her.
so please pray that it goes no further than today and that the shock will wear off.

in better news, it's half term!
i even get most of the week off. i'm considering going to see friends at uni and also i might be getting a new phone :)
but mostly i plan to sleep ALOT!

the rugby cup final is tonight and we're in it! England v South Africa.
i have no idea if we're going to win. i would have said South Africa are bound to beat us but then Argentina beat France last night so there are already pigs flying in the sky!
my boy isn't playing tonight but i will be cheering them all on anyway. it should be an awesome game :)

that's all for now. sorry my posts aren't as often as last year. i'm starting to see why peter didnt blog more. however my aim is to at least blog once a week!
much love xxxxxxxxxxxx

the weekend- sleeping, university and rugby

i am writing this during half time of the rugby world cup. unfortunately my boy has just gone off injured but he scored a try 82 seconds in so i am very proud hehe!
we've played well so far, it was always going to be a close game so we'll see what happens.

my weekend so far has been good, i slept alot on friday which was awesome :D i also went material shopping for new year's eve murder mystery costumes. my character is a poor peasant woman...so i'm going to dress like a wench...hehe a poor yet sexy wench!

today my parents and i went to visit UWE, my beloved first choice university! they both liked it which is good and i'm still in love with it! i'm waiting for feedback about they first draft of my personal statement but soon i'll be waiting for offers! it's very exciting!

tomorrow i've got lazers (11-14's at LF) in the morning, then lunch at Ron and Ruth's house, visiting Kate in the afternoon coz she's back from uni again. and then it's space celebration in the evening which should be good too.
one more week before half term when i'll have some time off which'll be fab :)

slightly exciting/impressive news this week is that i'm having a work lunch with the Bishop of Oxford this week! hehe sounds way more impressive than it is!
ooh and some good tv on this week too! i'm hoping the week flies by so i can sleep in more next week.
anyway the rugby is back on so must go watch the lovely rugby men running around....it's a hard life *sigh*

much love xxx

a brief break

i'm starting to understand why peter hardly blogged last year! but i'm determined to keep up my pace and still blog when i can.

pj and i have made up, love of junk food bought us back together!

i worked most of my day off on friday to prepare for the desire event but it was worth it, ended up being a good evening. i spent most of it chatting to mike, josh, jonnie, stevie and tiff. which was really nice :)

the fair is in town :D i'm incredibly excited about this! it comes once a year and is the longest street fair in europe!
that means tonight after genesis cell groups i am going to meet up with nicola, tip and gareth and go to the fair! lots of fun rides, candy-floss, just a good laugh.

i'm also progressing with my personal statement and am going to visit my beloved UWE on saturday with my parents which should be good.

still working hard although trying to manage my time better, god's really been making his point about me resting more.
i cant wait for half term to come and i can go see friends at uni and also sleep in and just generally have some time off.

anyway i'd better go, small bit of work to do before taking some time with god this afternoon.
much love xxxxx

and take a deep breath

i know, i sounded like a brat yesterday, thanks to amazing friends and lovely parents i have calmed down. still havent spoken to my brother but thats ok.

very busy day today. i've written my personal statement (first draft), been to a new wine leaders network meeting thing, prepared sunday school group for sunday, cut out a load of paper leafs and hearts, started to write a drama and i'm about to paint a tree...

working for the church means that you do some weird things :)

better go and get on with it!
much love xxxxx

i hate my brother

he thinks that just coz he does school 6 days a week and rugby too that he must work harder than i do.
its not true.
i work just as hard.
he wanted the tv to play xbox on, i asked if i could wait until the break and also warned him that i'd be back in the playroom when tea was ready.
he accepted this.

the break comes and i say i'll be back in 20 mins since i was going to make tea when my program was finished. and he got all mad 'you have freeview in your room for a reason'
yeah i do have freeview, i'm very lucky in that way. but i dont want to eat tea in my room. and i did warn him.
and i have given up the tv loads this last week.
he could just move his xbox up to his room and play it there.

i'm just so sick of having this same fight with him over and over again.
i'm over it. i didnt choose to live with him. i'm just really mad at him.
and i dont even care that i sound like a brat. i'm tired and worked hard today and he's made everything 10 times worse.
i know there are way worse problems in the world but that doesnt make me any less upset or mad at him.


its very probable that none of this will make sense and that you wont care about it. i dont mind if you roll your eyes at how pathetic the problem is and then just move on. i just needed to let it out. crying only gets me so far.

x

my weekend

hey everyone, i know its been ages since i posted, i've just been working very hard.
especially yesterday when we took the 11-14's group to Wicksteed Park (a family theme park) which was amazing but tiring. i also ate something bad i think which made me feel very sick last night :( and therefore incredibly tired today and also still not 100% well.

i've also had a few early mornings this week which has knocked me back too. i think i'm effectively working 5 or 6 days a week but even on my day off i'm using it to see friends and therefore not having time to rest. it sucks and this week is still busy, i'm working on my day off too :(
i'll have to make sure i get lots of early nights and take another evening off, and actually rest during my time off!


urgh i just knocked a glass of water all over my keyboard and my trousers! its one of those days and its not good.
we have some family round this afternoon too, but since i'm only going to space tonight and not the evening service because i dont feel great, i should get some time with my parents this evening.

in other exciting news i have officially applied to UCAS and i've started on my personal statement. i have a load of open days to go to, and lots to do with that. its exciting but scary!

anyway i'm gonna go chat to some people online :)
pray that i get rested and feel better soon!
much love xxxx

patience...

i got a big lesson in patience this evening. a group of guys at church were mucking around and making noise during the service. pretty disrespectful but i didnt say anything. i'm glad they were there and listened for some of it. just a shame they distracted a lot of other people when they weren't listening.

however my day was pretty good.
helped at LF in the morning; i got to paint and stuff :)
then rushed back to Northcourt Road to help run Pathfinders (crazy bunch of kids, lovely, but crazy!). after that i was pretty exhausted although most of it was a blur to me!

then this afternoon mum and i went shopping :) i have birthday money which was great, lots of new clothes! and just a chance to relax really, chat with mum and chill out.
before heading to church for the evvening service (see above). and then cell groups.
it went pretty well, my cell group is amazing, it was fun :D


in other news i visited beth in guildford yesterday. i've missed her so much hehe its ridiculous!
although apparently she's missed me just as much so thats ok.
me, nicola, tip and anna went and saw her for the day, it was good. we went shopping (disney store! i've had withdrawl symptoms since the oxford one shut!) and to the cinema and then met her housemates and just chatted.
unfortunately driving on a motorway at 10pm when you're tired and have a headache is not a good idea. especially if your passengers are sleepy too and so are napping!
its ok though coz i had high school musical cd on and jesus to chat to, i got home safely!

but that's pretty much all my news. got normal groups this week, but next weekend i say goodbye to anna and kate :( as they head to uni. and also go to wicksteed park with genesis (11-14's group) which is a local theme park so should be fun :)

much love xx

blah...

that's how i'm feeling to be honest.
just blah.
i'm tired...i forgot how tiring it is to go to bed at midnight and get up at 8am.
although its friday tomorrow so i can sleep until lunchtime :D

i dunno, i'm enjoying work so its not that, maybe its just that my friends are leaving and thats weird. or just because the summer had so much packed into it and now going back to normal everyday stuff is a bit of a letdown.
either way i'm feeling blah.

i'm seeing cassie for a bit this afternoon and then got a planning meeting this evening.
oooh and high school musical 2 party tomorrow! a load of us are getting together to watch the film on disney channel. food, company, good songs, cheesy acting, its all food :)

oh and on saturday i'm going to see beth :) i've missed her alot actually lol how sad is that? i guess i could just pop round and see her before but now i can't. its just different, i'm sure i'll get used to it.

peer leaders last night was good, a bit quiet but then the new people were nervous and we'd lost david, peter and anna, plus PJ wasn't there either. it was weird but ended up being really good.

dad's pretty much sorted my laptop out, bless him :) hopefully should be able to start using it on monday.
things are going ok actually.
i dunno i guess i'm just feeling tired and generally blah for no reason!

i'd better go, cassie will be picking me up in a bit.
prayers please.
much love xxxx

sorry!

its still tuesday so technically it's been less than a week since i posted!
i've just been very busy with work and stuff, alot of admin things and going to new groups etc.

actually not alot has happened, just all the church stuff i'm doing.
genesis cells tonight went well, they like to debate stuff alot which isnt a bad thing, just means i have to be careful to stop myself before actually arguing with the youth members!

space on sunday was pretty good too, we finally did my drama about getting into heaven :) it was funny if i say so myself!
cells kick off this sunday so hopefully will go ok.
although its the men's weekend away which means i'm shooting back to northcourt road from long furlong on sunday morning to help with pathfinders (which i also need to organize tomorrow!).

basically things are going well. although i'm stupidly busy, i havent got alot to talk about at the moment.
aside from my frustrations at trying to get a work computer, i have one at church but its on windows ME and doesnt have wireless yet. i was possibly getting an old laptop but its not rebuilding properly. i thought about buying a laptop but can't afford a decent one.
it's frustrating not to be able to do 'work' at church because the computer can't do the things i need it to do. but other options are going to take time, i'm not feeling very patient.


oh my gosh, i just realised that i was ranting about computers....actual technological problems. complaining about the version of windows.
i blame peter and david.
this is all your fault! when did i start talking about computers on my blog?!
apparently my life is so uneventful now that computers are the biggest news.

i'm going to go cry myself to sleep at the fact that i'm becoming one of you.
maybe tomorrow i'll post about stickers, glitter, shopping, boys, friends and everything will be ok.
please pray that this happens.


hehe much love xxx

taking a well earned break

this afternoon i've been doing alot of admin stuff which isn't too difficult, its just mind-numbingly repetitive and boring!

this morning Andy and I met with two women from Open Doors (a charity which raises money and awareness of the persecuted church) which went well, i also got offered a very interesting opportunity to possibly go out to China next summer.

now those of you who know me will laugh at this notion since i am not a 'roughing it' person and i don't really go away to do missionary work or anything...world challenge type trips are not my thing at all.
however this trip would only be for two weeks and would be with a group of about 15 people (about 18-25 year olds i believe) and our trip would be around the time of the olympics and it would be to go there and spread the word about Open Doors and stuff.
anyway the offer really intrigued me and i'm actually thinking about it, so please pray about this alot, whether the timing would work out, whether its where i'm supposed to be and whether i feel i can actually go through with it.
its exciting but also scary for me. i'll find out more in october but please pray.

other than that my three days working so far have been ok, new and overwhelming but not too bad. i am out for a takeaway night with uni students from church tonight and then tomorrow i've got some more admin stuff to do and am meeting up with my mentor type person who is a lovely woman from church.

but for now i must go and continue my work :)
much love xxxxx

dude, i've been kinda busy :p

the title is in response to david's comment on my last post!
i had my birthday on the thursday which was awesome, loads of lush presents and my parents spoilt me lol and i had a lovely meal out with friends :)

friday was incredibly busy. Beth and I went food shopping at 11am and then spent the entire afternoon transforming the hall at church into a suitable room for the formal dinner and dance. i think it went really well :) people had a good time and after the leaders left everyone sort of relaxed more and we did LOTS of dancing and just having a good time.
unfortunately beth, hannah, phil and I then got roped into helping alex clear up all the sound stuff, as well as clearing away the rubbish and decorations, this meant i didn't get home until 12.30 (party finished at 11).

saturday was a good day, i didn't do alot, i just hung out with my family and we had takeaway and stuff.
sunday was nerve-wracking! i was interviewed and commissioned in each of the church services. apparently i spoke well, which is surprising since my knees were shaking and i was soooo nervous!
in the evening we had a space social which was alot of fun, 46 youth (thats alot!) came and we played silly games and stuff. was good :)

today is my first official day of work.
i was terrified.
no kidding, i was seriously scared lol i was just nervous about starting and going to staff meeting and stuff. but it was good.
i now have alot of stuff to do hehe and alot of dates in my diary for stuff i will be doing in the future!
which leads me on to the fact that i have to go, i have to fill in some forms, rewrite a drama, organize my diary and phone a load of people!
will try and write more often, ok? :P
hehe much love xxxxxx

last week of freedom

it is my birthday tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!
8 hours and 44 minutes!
and i will become an adult!
well actually technically i was born at 8pm or something but since my driving license doesnt dictate a time, i can go out! and buy alcohol legally and vote lol although who knows who i'd vote for!

i'm extremely excited :D especially since i'm like the last one to turn 18 in my group of friends.
i'll be getting up early to open pressies before pj goes to school and mum goes to work (my dad is working at home i think). then i'll be stopping in at my nan and grandad's before going to the hairdressers to be pampered for a couple of hours.
then i'm back to chill out before getting ready to go out for my birthday meal. about 15 of us girls (and gareth obviously) are going to frankie and benny's for dinner and cocktails :)

and then on friday it's the dinner and dance. i'm excited about that too! although i still have quite a bit to do before then :s

as for today, i am chilling out at home, doing some dinner and dance stuff and generally just enjoying my last week of freedom before i start my gap year.
speaking of which, i'm going to a meeting of the LF kids leaders tonight which will be good, means i get to meet everyone and see whats happening!

i know i'll get asked what it's like to be 18 and most people say it's no difference but to me it will be. especially because i'm the last one and it'll mean i can finally go to the pub and things with my friends and just not have to worry about 'being old enough'.
i don't know whether that makes sense but i know tomorrow will be good.
i'm one of these people who absolutly loves birthdays. i love getting gifts for other people on their birthdays and going out and celebrating, i love the hype and balloons and presents and hugs. i especially love it when its my own birthday :) which is tomorrow!!!
8 hours and 37 minutes to go :D
much love xxxxxxxxx

p.s. i expect lots of comments since it's my birthday tomorrow!

up, up, up and away!

wow and holiday club is over for another year!
the theme this year was aeroplanes which meant alot of model planes and alot of song actions involving pretending to fly!
basically i was leading a small group and also kat and i were doing actions for the songs in the 'runway' sessions (yes the week was full of cheesy plane associations just like that!)

on monday we had set-up day which meant all the team (leaders and teenage helpers) gathered at church to decorate and plan and generally work too hard. we then got our usual pep talk from val (overall leader of holiday club) and then everyone left...except for about a dozen people, including david, kat, pj and i since our parents are main leaders and we got roped into staying to finish some painting and clearing up.
we then of course took refuge in the creche room in order to escape doing any more work and ended up playing with kids toys for a while- during this time vikki (kat and david's amazing cousin) also turned up which was awesome :)

tuesday started the first of four days of full holiday club. this meant the kids were with us from 9.30-12.30 but it felt like alot longer. they had a main 'runway' session with puppets, songs and general fun. then a craft/games session. then small group time (i had to plan and then run this for my small group) and then back into 'runway' for another session with drama, quiz and more songs. then we had to take the kids back to their rooms to dismiss them to parents.

my small group was good, i had 8 kids who all got on and didnt really cause any trouble, i managed to get through most of what i planned each day. i was part of 'Heathrow' which was the 5-6 years old age group. nice kids, tend to listen to you and respond well to stickers and other silly stuff i love.

tuesday evening pj and i held a sleep-out at our house, it was a fun evening invloving alot of silly games, pizza and some inappropriate innuendo on the trampoline lol. although at 1am i decided to go inside and sleep in my own bed since as one of three small group leaders there, i couldnt lead a group on less than 6 hours sleep. the other two were david (who i believe fell asleep relatively quickly) and anna (who decided that 1am was a good time to go on the trampoline with beth and hannah- both of whom didnt have holiday club the next morning).
needless to say we were all tired the next morning but it was good fun.

wednesday was slightly less chaotic than tuesday but still was pretty hectic.
i then went to the cinema with kat, vikki and david to watch the bratz film- before you scoff, we accept that the film is going to be cheesy and rubbish but we know we can laugh at that and find it entertaining.
however you may scoff since it was the second time i saw it in the space of 2 weeks.
then in the evening was mike's birthday bbq which was fun, although i now know it wasnt just me who didnt mesh well with whatsherface. i left pretty early coz i was tired.

thursday is the day of holiday club that is the worst. monday is exciting coz we're setting up, tuesday is the first day with kids, wednesday is when it gets calmer, friday is the last day so always fun. but thursday is the day when your tiredness hits you full on in the face, i had to lean pretty heavily on god to find the energy to get through it.
the 'runway' session was particularly good since david got flanned! we have a tradition in godzone where the leaders get flanned sometimes but there's a strict no-under-18's policy and since david isn't going to be here for the first godzone of term, andy and my mum flanned him at holiday club instead. (i will be here for the first godzone of term, i will be 18, i have no doubt that my nemisis james ross is planning to get me. now i just have to flee the country before sunday 9th)

thursday evening was alot of fun too. nicola, tip, gareth, anna and i went to millets maize maze (a local garden centre plant a whole field of maize and then cut a maze out of it each year) but we went especially for the torchlight session! going round a field in dark is fun! a little scary if you let yourself listen to the noises but since there were alot of people doing it, we just had alot of fun....and maybe cut through the walls of the maze a bit!
then when we'd found all the clues we went to the wizard (clearly a uni student on holiday trying to earn some money) and got our ice-lollies as prizes.
you have to accept that this was a maze aimed at kids, doesnt mean we enjoyed it any less!
we also met some random people who decided that they loved gareth, especially this one girl. turns out they go to fitzharrys and sort of know hannah burfitt (pj's girlfriend).

friday was a looooooooooooooong day!
the morning bit was good, the kids enjoyed it. although one of my kids was particularly hyperactive. luckily i happened to get stevie as an extra teenage helper that morning (if you don't know who stevie is then this will be lost on you....and i also pity you.) and stevie watched him for me.
the end of the morning was a bit of a down but i got to spend alot of time with katy (my 8 year old god-sister. 8 going on 18.)
and then in the afternoon i went home to get some rest...unfortunately i also had to go with anna to tesco's to buy some things we needed for our plan (explained in a minute).
which meant i sat down for maybe 30 minutes in total before having to go back to church.
where alot of people were setting up for the evening holiday club bbq.
it was alot of fun and i got to see alot of kids and parents that i know.

and then anna and i executed our plan.
we gunged andy.
yep, that andy, our youth worker, andy.
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
it was brilliant! we put on capes and masks and flew in from the back and gunged him with porridge, cornflour and baked beans! (all prepared earlier)
unfortunately we hadn't thought the plan through properly....we'd ensured that andy was sat in a paddling pool that would catch all the gunge....we just didnt think what we'd do with the gunge afterwards.
anyway we ended up carrying the paddling pool about 10 metres to tip the gunge down the drain, we then had to wash out the paddling pool and wash around the drain and then let down the paddling pool...all of which took about an hour and a half! (big thanks to joe, richard, mike, pj and hannah who helped us clear all this up!)

i still think it was worth it.


unfortunately a whole week of holiday club, and also busy evenings too, has taken its toll on my body. it reacted how it always does to tiredness- i have a sore throat and a sniffly nose.
i am dosed up and hoping it'll go quickly.

in other news i have more info on how i'll be spending my gap year :) i will be at long furlong on sunday mornings to do kids work and then back in space for the evenings.
should be brilliant to be in a new group, and holiday club gave me a great opportunity to meet alot of the LF kids and leaders.
however i don't start work until monday 10th. which is brilliant! it means i have time to rest up after holiday club, and i have my birthday off too!
its especially good since i have alot of stuff to do for the dinner and dance which is this friday!
i need to send out more tickets, chase some people up about buying tickets, order decorations, sort awards, sort food out. i have alot to do!

but you did read that correctly, it is my birthday this week!
on thursday 6th september to be exact. and i will be turning 18!
i will be able to vote, and legally buy alcohol!
i'm looking forward to going out with my friends too. i have a hair appointment so my hair will look gorgeous and we're going to frankie and benny's (my favourite restaurant!) and having a meal and cocktails and generally a good time :)

anyway i think that's everything i have to write about. wow this is a long post!
i will write more this week no doubt, especially my birthday and the dinner and dance :)
much love xxxxxxx

back from isle of wight

it wasnt the most amazing holiday to be honest but i won't go into that. there were some good times though :)

basically i'm about to go to bed since i only just got back and tomorrow i'm off to my cousin's wedding in the morning....not looking forward to that drive but should be a good weekend :)

will write more about holiday soon xxxx

exam results

just to re-cap, i said:
Psychology- (AS grade- D) i hope i get a D, i'll be very happy with a D in psychology coz i find the exams really hard.
English Language- (AS grade- C) i hope i get a C but i didnt do well in the exam i don't think so i'd accept a D.
Theatre Studies- (AS grade- C) i hope i get a C, i think i worked hard enough to get a C.

I got CDE which i'm actually feeling ok about.
the C was in English Language which suprised me alot but am very happy with it.

D was in Theatre Studies, i was a bit disappointed with this but actually i got a C in my practical exam and in another module, i just failed the third module and that dragged it down but since the other people in my class also failed that module i know its the exam not me!

E was in psychology, i got U's in the written exams which doesnt suprise me since i've never been able to do those exams. but i'm confused by my coursework mark since my teacher marked it as A/B and it came through as an E. and my teacher thinks that isn't right and i should get it re-marked so that could change.

not that it matters since those grades give me 200 ucas points and i need 160-180 to go to UWE after my gap year so i'm pretty much set :) most of my friends got into their uni of choice i think.
anyway i'm happy, i'm pleased that i worked hard at that showed for the most part, tonight we're gonna celebrate with pizza and champagne :D and then on saturday i go to the isle of wight with hannah, anna and beth so i'm excited about that!
hope you all did ok
much love xxxx

expanding on new wine...

since i've just read david's huge post about new wine i thought i ought to expand on my week. alot of it feels like a blur but i will do my best!

we left very early (8am- thats very early for me!) on sunday morning and after a coach ride where i got to sleep and then chat to tom, jess and hannah, we arrived. We found our site reletively easily, although it was smaller than expected. set up our tents, pumped up air-beds and had lunch. i also went and visited my parents, the challis' and the ross'. they'd set up their 3 tents and a marquee with a small kitchen/eating area.
then Andy (youth worker) called a meeting to lay the ground rules and then we went off and explored the site some more.
in the evening we went to our evening session in thirst (if you want new wine explained some more then go visit david's blog- djchallis.blogspot.com) it was a good session, good worship too.

monday and tuesday are kind of a blur since i didnt feel very well at all, tiredness didnt help either. i went to one evening session and had a bit of a cry- i let myself feel how scared i am about next year. the unknown terrifies me and so some people prayed for me about that, including kat which was funny coz then i asked if she was ok which made her cry which made me laugh and cry which made her laugh and cry. it was one of those hugs where you're crying but also laughing about it!
wednesday morning i had a good, if awkward, chat with someone and hopefully sorted some stuff out. it was also our day off and so Alison and I organized a hunt the leader game which was cool, i think the Pathfinder crowd (11-14 years) were more into it than the older people but it was still good fun.
and after Thirst in the evening we went and watched Peter and Wayne go speed-dating which was funny coz David and i were watching Peter from a distance and trying to work out which ones he liked, we got 3 out of 4 right :)

Thursday was also a good day, BT got himself a girl and we saw the nicer, sweeter side of him come out which was amazing to watch :) God was obviously working there.
Friday we had the footie tournament which was fun...especially since the Sports Leader guys from Thirst were refereeing and they were cute hehe so that was good! we didn't do amazingly well but our guys played well and put team spirit above competitiveness. despite the opposing team's supporters hurling abuse at us and swearing at us (apparently being on a christian camp doesnt change some things)
it was also David and Katy's birthdays which was wicked coz they had a good time and we all got doughnuts!

Friday and Saturday were weird days, the dynamic of the group changed a bit after the prescence of whatsherface drew the boys away and meant alot of us were ditched and ignored. the boys that weren't drawn away felt confused over why the girls were upset and it just divided the group a bit. it especially means i feel i've lost my best guy mate a bit.
the last night was good, extra long worship session at thirst, good games of mafia and just deepening friendships with some of the girls.
by this point i was very tired, the week was finishing on a weird tension and i was ready to go home. this doesnt mean i didnt have a wicked time, i made some amazing new friendships with people i'd only known slightly, i've been invited to a house group for next year, i got a tan and just enjoyed being in god's presence. but i was ready to leave.

you'll notice that i haven't said much about God so far and that's because i didnt really need anything out of the week. I feel close to God and i know his next plans for me. I was still open to him talking to me but i really felt that this week i just needed to enjoy worshipping him and being able to focus on him, but also just be there to serve him. I wanted to be there to pray for others and to just praise his works around me. Having my parents there felt like a real god-send since my 3 close friends weren't with me this year and i was having to start finding my place in the group without them. Having my parents around meant i still had comfort when i needed it but i wasn't relying on my friends when i was in trouble. which i imagine is alot like what next year is going to be like, i'm going to find new friends and new people to confide in and turn to. But having my mum there especially was amazing, she knew when i needed a hug and when i just needed space, i just felt really blessed to have her in my life and i hope me and her always stay this close. We both know we are friends too, not best friends coz mother and daughter shouldnt be best friends, but good friends at least.

anyway that's my blog about new wine, there's still some stuff left over but i had a good week. the weather was good mostly and i just enjoyed being in that world, looking around and seeing people smile back at you. i love everything about that place and i hope i can continue that closeness with god.

one of the reasons that i'm blogging now is that its wednesday afternoon and in 19 hours i will be going to collect my a-level results. i'm getting nervous and there's nothing on tv until 3pm lol. we're going out for a meal with my grandparents tonight which will also distract me, i just want to know how i did. I mean i worked hard and tried my best which is what matters, it'd just be nice if i got good grades too! i can't think about much else right now, hence why i've been distracting myself with writing a blog and printing out directions for isle of wight holiday.
please please please pray for me, this time last year i thought i'd done ok but i hadnt worked hard and i crashed hard, i didnt do well. whereas this year i turned it around, i did resits and hours of revision and i tried my hardest. i really pray that it shows. Also pray that if i don't do well that i'll see that God must have a reason for it and that things will work out.

just so you know what i need/think i'll get:
Psychology- (AS grade- D) i hope i get a D, i'll be very happy with a D in psychology coz i find the exams really hard.
English Language- (AS grade- C) i hope i get a C but i didnt do well in the exam i don't think so i'd accept a D.
Theatre Studies- (AS grade- C) i hope i get a C, i think i worked hard enough to get a C.

so basically to go to my uni of choice (when i apply in october/november) i need 160-180 ucas points which is about DDD. i hope i get CCD but would accept CDD.

keep praying and i'll blog tomorrow once i get the results.
much love xxxxxxx

i'm back from new wine!!!!

it was a packed week :) it was the week of cold nights, cool worship, the girl who tamed BT, pj and hannah's anniversary, new friendships, footie competitions, whatsherface, sunny days, mafia and lots and lots of fun!

i had such a good time, nothing amazing happened God-wise but that's ok coz i didnt need anything major to happen, i just enjoyed praising Him and spending more time with Him.

i built up some new friendships and got a glimpse at what next year might be like without Anna, Hannah and Beth and it might actually be ok. I have Tom and Wayne, plus new people like Aidan, Katrina, David etc. I'm feeling exhausted but very happy. I was ready to come home, it was just way too cold at night, very difficult to sleep!

having my parents, the challis' and the ross' around was brilliant, it meant when i was tired i really could have a mum-hug and it was just another area to escape to and i wasnt the only one to escape there for food etc!

i will try and remember to write in more detail about the week but am too tired right now!
4 days to results :S please pray for me.
much love xxxxxx

sorry!

for not blogging much...again...its just that this week hasnt been that eventful. i saw beth and kat alot which has been lovely, and i had dinner with kate last night. but mostly this week has been building up to the amazing event that is new wine!
*fanfare and cheers and parade music*

i'm really looking forward to it actually, part of me's scared that without beth, hannah or anna there then it wont be so good but i think it actually means i get to know other friends better i.e. mike, pete harvey, hannah b, jess, tom, wayne, aidan, peter b and all the other cool people that are going (apologies if you werent on the list it was not intentional, do not be upset)
and also means i'll have more chance to move into my role as a leader next year and also to focus on god alot this week :)
my parents will be around too which will be nice, if i feel too lonely i can always mosey on up to see them.

today has been an ok day, went shopping with kate and played a game with the family but alot of it was ruined by the fact that my wisdom teeth are coming through and although it hasnt hurt too much up until now, one of them if very painful and its not nice!

tomorrow i'll be packing and getting everything together for new wine, i'll try and post on sunday morning right before we leave and as soon as i get back :)
until then, much love xxxxxxxxx

p.s. my hairspray movie soundtrack finally arrived today, its awesome!! (david and peter, its the same sort of excitement you felt when you got resi 4...just so you can relate!) i need to upload it to my mp3 player for the coach ride :)

wow...

a whole week has gone by since i last blogged which is ridiculous coz it feels like it was yesterday!
since my last blog i have made up with my friend, seen Hairspray and Harry Potter 5, i've shopped for some new wine stuff and i've picked up my dad from the airport!

its only 6 days until new wine and i am getting very excited :D it should be good fun and i've got 2 lovely people in my tent, its gonna be a good week!

but for now my plans are to make sure i get a moo-moo's milkshake this week and to pack my bag! basically to chill out before the madness of the summer begins. coz after new wine it'll be results day, then girls holiday, then my cousin's wedding, then holiday club and then i start my gap year!

oh and this week i'm also sorting out some stuff for the dinner and dance :)
i was supposed to be going to reading tomorrow to go shopping but beth can't make it anymore. i might try and meet up with kate and go to oxford. who knows!

but yeah my summary is that time is moving quickly but i am enjoying my relaxing time and am looking forward to the rest of my summer :D
much love xxxxxx

blog-envy indeed

apparently my blog-writing skills are amazing lol and people envy them...
and also i am apparently a good writer.
both these things are weird to me for different reasons.

i write my blog out of frustration/excitement/need to rant. i dont think its amazing or that i write lots, although i've discovered i do blog alot!

a few people have told me that i'm a good writer. my english teachers said i have a good essay style and creative flow...whatever that means. but i dont have an ambition to be a writer so it feels weird when people say i am good at it because its not a talent or skill i was aiming to be good at.
i'm not blogging about this because i want to show off, i just wanted to share that i do like writing in my blog. its a way for me to let out my emotion and to feel like the world is listening. its good that i write well because that means people can understand what i'm saying....at least most of the time!

on a different subject the floods are still going on, abingdon made the national bbc1 news tonight. the river thames is set to burst its banks some point tonight apparently. which means we may have house guests since some family friends of ours live at the end of caldecott road, right where the ock joins the thames...not so nice.
pj, mum and i walked into town this afternoon to get hot chocolate and also to go check out how high the thames was getting. hehe flooding really brings people out to see whats going on.

i'm praying that this rain is just god getting it all out the way before new wine which is in two weeks. otherwise it could be an interesting week!
i'm also praying about the dinner and dance, preperations have come to a halt, hopefully it'll all work itself out soon as we need to get letters/invites out to people asap. please pray that we can do that!

anyway i'm going to chat online about the weather a bit more (how very british of me?!) and then go to bed, am tired since i didnt sleep well last night coz it rained :(
much love xxx

the rain ruins everything :(

on friday we didnt get to go see the movie coz we didnt want to go without val and she was stuck in traffic for 8 hours, poor her :(
but we did go get the new harry potter book! i read it yesterday (saturday) in about 7 hours, there were breaks in between as i took dad to the airport but still a good time i think and i loved the book, it was very good :)

however because of the horrendous rain and all the floods that have made it difficult to travel, i was very hesitant to drive to weston-super-mare for t4 on the beach. one of my friends sophie asked her dad and he said he would drive us. but after alot of discussion hannah swift and i agreed we didnt really want to spend hours in traffic and floods, and then spend hours on a cold, wet beach, and then spend hours in traffic again. we didnt think it was worth it and so decided not to go. hannah walker and sophie are still going but i dont know how far they'll get. i can understand why they want to go, its going to be a brill concert but there's always next year and i guess it just means more to them than to us. never mind, we're still seeing mcfly in november and can wait another year for t4 on the beach!

so basically today i'm not doing alot, i might sort out some more of my room (i did a spring clean a week or so ago but i seem to have messed up my desk again) and i have some photos to print off from the balls etc.

some family friends of ours who live in south abingdon might be coming round this afternoon since they had the environmental agency knocking on their door last night to warn them the river ock is highly likely to flood this afternoon and they might have to evactuate....so yeah the rain seems to be ongoing.
there's rumours that a heatwave is on its way, hopefully for the week of new wine, but at the moment it seems that everything is stopping for the rain!
at least i dont have to venture out of the house too much, no school, lots of free time, means i'm getting to sleep and relax...its very nice and i'm enjoying it while it lasts!

anyway i'm off to tidy my room a bit
much love xxxxx

getting better...

the friend who let me down has turned it back on me and tried to make me feel bad about being honest and after i sent a truce type text message she hasnt replied. i give up!

however things are working out with the other stuff. i feel better and less tired.

tomorrow i'm going to check out this activities centre with andy and emma, should be good fun. get to chat to andy on the way about gap year stuff :)

today i got to meet my cousin's 12 day old baby! shelby-louise...she's gorgeous and has beautiful blue eyes!

and after long msn conversations with someone i have a smile on my face hehe...its stupid how small things can turn the day around.

in longer term news, thursday i might be going shopping in reading, on friday i'm seeing the harry potter film and then going to get the book! and then on saturday i'm driving my dad to the airport and reading the harry potter book! and then on sunday i'm going to t4 on the beach!!!! am very very excited :D slightly early start, especially since i'm driving! but it'll be worth it!

anyway i'm off to bed methinks :)
much love xxxx

what a great weekend(!)

i've had a friend let me down, been annoyed by people talking down to me, today i've been ill and had to leave a family friend's dedication because of it.

i'd say i hope this week is better but after the friend letting me down i have less things to do. the people talking down to me have halted other plans, oh yeah and i still feel ill.

i know this is cryptic i'm just not going to name people because thats not fair to them or the people who know them.

surprisingly the one person who hasnt annoyed me today is my brother (he annoyed me yesterday though so its not all good)

i'm missing out on seeing someone tonight that i really wanted to see but cant because i'm ill and not going.

i'm stupidly tired coz i had to get up early this morning.
however i get to sleep in tomorrow coz i wont be staying at my friends like i thought, i might still go to reading tomorrow, just with a different friend. or maybe on a different day.

sorry to be so miserable in this blog. am just letting it all out.
prayers are always welcome :)
oh thats a good thing i can talk about...i've felt closer to god recently. praying a bit more, struggling with dedicating time to him each day but am trying. i know he's with me, especially in the crappy times.

thats all for now, am gonna go see beth :)
much love xxx

honey i'm hooooooooooome!!!

i've actually been home 3 days but i've been so tired that i havent quite managed to drag myself to the computer to blog.
the last couple of days in america were amazing, we had the party (made smores, went in the jacuzzi and had fireworks!) and monday we had manicures/pedicures and also did some more shopping. tuesday was mostly a packing day and going to the airport. the flight was pretty non-eventful, only 6 hours though so only had like 3 hours of broken sleep :( but i slept a bit more during the day and then went to peer leaders which was fun coz i got to catch up with anna and beth.

thursday anna, beth and hannah came round hehe and we set about organizing the space dinner and dance....'whats that?' i hear you ask. well its the most fantabulous, amazing, brilliant, awesome, mind-blowing, exciting idea in the whole wide world!
as a way to say goodbye to those people leaving space and to say hello to those people coming up in september. we're throwing a formal dinner and dance in september :) we're the party committee and it's going to be amazing! jazz band, food, awards, speeches...its going to be brilliant!!!

anyway i'm off to go to tescos with my parents, the reason i'm up so early is that a stupid fly decided to keep landing on my face for the last 2 hours...so i gave up trying to sleep and since i was unsuccessful in my attempts to hit it, i got up. blah!
much love xxxx

second usa blog :)

wow flying over new york was sooooo good! it was a little bumpy when we went lower but was gorgeous view. i saw the empire state building, ground zero, statue of liberty...it was all spectacular!
we also saw this amazing show last night, it was in this huge christian theatre and was called 'in the beginning' which was all based on genesis...they had live animals coming on and off stage. true story. (dogs, horses, sheep, goats, ducks, llamas) and it was truly a beautiful set, almost a 360 panoramic stage and it was just beautiful.
also went shopping :D this was particularly good since later this evening mum's bag was delivered but mine wasnt :( apparently we should get it tomorrow but since i have new clothes its not too bad.

today we went to church, it was an ok service, all about missionaries...my favourite part was when the guy told the congregation that we need to stand together and spread the word across europe because they are crying out as a continent for god's love. it made me feel called to maybe travel to england and spread the word since its obviously not being spread there already.....can you feel my sarcasm??
it annoyed me a bit but apart from that the service had an amazing youth band...the lead singer/guitarist was cute too which helped hehe :)
this evening we're having a graduation/18th birthday/just coz we're here party....putting some burgers on the grill and then having fireworks :D mostly all for me lol i love my godmother, all the family have been brilliant actually.
Joe took me driving earlier, using an automatic was easier than i thought, i got confused when there was no clutch though hehe and kept trying to drive on the left hand side (we were in an empty parking lot so it didnt matter too much though)

i've just realised that i've used like 4 or 5 american phrases already...i hope my accent isnt changing hehe although i'll probably bring back some phrases and spread them to my friends!
i'll be back on wednesday and babysitting that evening :O i'll be tired but who cares. and then thursday i might be meeting up with anna, hannah and beth to organize the greatest space social ever!!! a formal dinner and dance, ball type thing :D suits and dresses, jazz music, food, party favours, invitations, all very formal and grown up hehe. it'll also be a good way to introduce the new youth members who are coming up but also say goodbye to those who are leaving!

anyway i'm off to read my book outside, its about 90 F and sunny and gorgeous!
much love xxxxxx

this blog comes to you from america!

hehe i'm actually here!!!
despite the plane being an hour and a half late to leave (a baggage discrepancy) it was a good flight, i watch men in black hehe coz they have this new 'on demand' system where its not just some movies but also a library of movies and tv shows and also albums so you can make your own playlist!

thanks for all the prayers, i see now that god had a reason for what happened on tuesday. its so beautiful here, and so hot!
today the boys (Joe and Elliot) took me to a huge theme park and Joe's friend Liz came along, she's so lovely and we all had a really good time. Liz loves my accent, she even told 2 friends about it when they called her! we're also going out to a restaurant for dinner tonight.
we had lunch from this place called wawa, its like one-stop but with a subway style thing within it. you can use the computer to order your sandwich (or hougie as its called here) and then go pick it up once you pay for anything else you're buying. so much selection! i.e. i chose the option of 'a little bit of mayo' lol it was a good sandwich too!

tomorrow Colin (the dad) is flying mum and i over new york so we can see the sights! yes thats right, actually flying us over!
also we're going shopping tomorrow. on sunday we're using all the fireworks left over from july 4th (which got rained out....probably because i wasnt there!) and having a huge 18th birthday/graduation/finishing school/just because we're here party!!
then on monday we're doing more shopping and getting manicures/pedicures. then on tuesday some chilling time and also packing for leaving that evening. and we get back wednesday morning.

its so lovely here and although i'm seeing all the sights and stuff, i'm not doing the tourist thing, i'm living the real american life-style! its fab :D
anyway thats my blog from america, will try and blog more as i go!
much love xxxx

take two..

we've now got flights again. early tomorrow morning and coming back a day later.
i'm happy but obviously trying not to get my hopes up too much after yesterdays fiasco.
i'm starting to realise that maybe it just wasnt safe for us to fly yesterday and thats why god allowed it to be cancelled. and thats also why we've managed to get rebooked fairly easily today.
luggage is the only last obstacle- if we cant get it back before thursday morning then we'll have to pack other clothes, might mean small shopping tip lol. but who knows, it might all work out!
although if god did choose to allow the flights to be cancelled because it wasnt safe i wish he'd have told us sooner so we werent outside for 6 hours in total. and also made it so it was sunny outside rather than raining alot.
hmm we'll see how it all pans out xxx

a very long horrible not nice at all day

started off with only a little bit of traffic.
then got through security and stuff all ok.
oh then the whole terminal was evactuated because of a security scare.
after 4 hours outside in the car-park, enduring sun and hail and thunderstorms in a very attractive free yellow raincoat thing.
we finally got told all european flights and long-haul flights after 3pm were cancelled. that meant ours was still on.
took another 2 hours to get people back inside. (oh during this we made a nice friend called gerry)
then got through security again pretty quickly.
did a little shopping before hearing that 4 more flights were cancelled. starting to get worried we enquired about our own flight.
it was cancelled.
another 2 hours in passport control (not that we went anywhere) and baggage reclaim. we eventually gave up since our 'flight' still hadnt come up on the screen for baggage reclaim and dad had arrived outside.
so we're now home, not in america, very tired and without our luggage.

currently we're looking into going on thursday maybe if we can get flights and out bags back in time.
it might well not happen though.
i cried my eyes out most of the way home. am still on the verge of tears.
this is horrible and i hate it and i dont understand.
i prayed alot but it didnt seem to help since it still happened. which just makes me more upset coz i'm slightly mad at god...
not really mad but a little.

anyway i'm going to go read my book and then go to bed.
its been a long day and i just want to forget it.

woop i'm going to america!

in exactly 12 hours i will be getting up to go to america :O
i'm so excited!!! its finally here hehe and i really cant wait!!
i thought i would post tonight since i doubt i'll find time tomorrow, although i'll have access to a computer while i'm there so might be able to post and visit facebook (i expect lots of comments while i'm away!)

this has been my light at the end of the tunnel and its finally here and its so hard to believe, i hope i sleep really well tonight and i hope the flight tomorrow goes well and that the security checks dont take too long!

anyway thought i'd blog about the youth service on sunday night. i was directing the drama (which i wrote) and performing an interpretive dance (which i helped choreograph). arriving at church brought alot of stress since 2 members of my drama didnt turn up so pj and i had to step in. then found out we were supposed to be dancing on the stage blocks which arent very stable. then anna wasnt going to get there until 30 mins before the service so that was scary.
when we finally got a look at the stage blocks they were tiny, more stable than i thought so that was ok but beth and i tried to practice and nearly fell off, this was without anna even on the stage.

so then pj, phil, beth and andy tried to fit another block on the end. problem being that none of the sides seem to be able to bolt together.
by now we were running out of time for the drama practice.
i stood there feeling very helpless and stressed but took a deep breath and sat down to pray. i prayed so hard and as i opened my eyes they were gaffa taping the stages together! not very safe but a solution and an answer to my prayer.

we finally got a couple of drama run-throughs in and 10 minutes before the service began anna arrived and we got to do 3 dance rehearsals. we then snuck in at the back thinking we were going to be late, only to find they were in the middle of the first interview and we werent needed for another 15 minutes or so. big sigh of relief and big praise to god.

the service went really well. the drama was good, extra laughs came after peter ripped his trousers while climbing on stage hehe (sorry pete!)
then the dance came, beth and anna missed one of their turns which threw beth and meant that me and beth messed up part of our dance, we got it back on track though and apparently no-one noticed.
there was an awesome prayer activity lastly. and afterwards cells was mostly good fun :)
so a good sunday evening overall.

anna and i went for lunch today which was lovely, we went to the boundary house pub/restaurant and had baguettes which were yummy. then into town quickly (i got pj and i some cakes).
then came back and packed!!!

this evening my family were annoying me a bit, which just got me stressed that i was letting it wind me up. pj apologised, cleaned my dinner dishes away and offered to play fusion frenzy with me (which he normally doesnt want to play) and they all made an effort to play mahjohngg too. which cheered me up massively and made the evening turn out nicely.

i'm now off to watch a bit of tv and then go to bed and when i wake up i'll be going to america!!!!
much love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

got alot of things to do

but first i'll tell you how the balls went. larkmead one i expected to be good and it was :) good fun with my single girls, we danced ALOT!
john mason ball i didnt expect to be so good but it was alot of fun. once the wind died down it wasnt that cold (we were on a boat) and i had a laugh with megan, hannah, lucy, gareth and nicola :)

however its 3 days until i go to america and i got stuff i need to do:
- rip cds for mp3 player
- organize mp3 player
- godzone bbq
- violet group coffee morning
- create rest of dance for youth service
- drama practice for youth service
- wash clothes for america
- organize clothes for america
- pack for america

and then before i know it tuesday will be here and we'll be going to AMERICA!!!
i'm soooooo excited!!!
anyway gotta go :)
much love xxxxxx

five down!! ALL DONE!!

its all done!!!!!!!!!!
all my exams are over :D no more revision or horrible long exams!
got a ball tonight and a ball tomorrow and then on tuesday i go to america!
i cant really believe it to be honest.
woooooooohoooooooo!!!!!!!

i love my life :D i'm going to go watch some tv and then start getting ready for the larkmead ball tonight!
much love xxxxxx

faith revelation

i've read two books these last couple of days and they are part of a series, i havent even read them in order hehe but i really learned alot from them.

they were about this family that go through alot of tough things but rely on god.
and it wasnt the relying on god part that got to me coz i rely on god alot. it was the way they prayed.
in bed going to sleep, they prayed. when one of the guys hugged his wife, he prayed for them. everything they did, they prayed.
i pray to god when i need him or when i need to rant at someone.
simple every day things i tend to leave out.

so i decided to make a decision, an effort to pray more. and to be open about praying more. i want to pray about everything, an open conversation with god.
it isnt going to be easy. even today i've ignored him on several occasions.
even tonight when i was at the vertigo event i saw a cute guy and got distracted from god. it sounds so stupid and shallow but its those things that i let get in the way.

i was also praying about a friend and proverbs 31 came to mind. its all about being a woman of god. i've always thought of myself as a child of god. but i also have to realise that i am a woman of god too. i am growing up and i want to be someone god is proud of, someone he raised well. i want to be a living example of him.

it is not going to be an overnight change but i want to do it.
i really want to be passionate for god. not just go to new wine, spring harvest, do my gap year, kind of passionate in phases. i want to be on-fire for him.

i've got an idea to ask a friend of mine if we can be accountable to each other. each week we can talk through how things are going. i have a new-found inspiration for god. especially in the midst of my exams, i'm turning to him in ways i havent before.

anyway i ought to go get some sleep! got more revision to do tomorrow and a drama to write. pray for me that this seed god has planted the last couple of days continues to grow.
its not a major revelation like the blog title suggests, its almost a renewal of passion for god.

much love xxxx

three down, two to go!

and its over.
psychology is finally over.

the exams went....ok.
the first part was alright, the second part went horribly but the third part went well. so hoping it all averages out and i do ok.

but since i cant change it now i'm going to try not to worry about it too much.
at least psychology is now officially over.

only two more exams left and they arent until next week!
i get to enjoy hannah's birthday with her tomorrow and also hang out with beth friday evening after she gets her final results...oooh scary stuff!

anyway thanks for the prayers and hope you are all ok!
much love xxxxx

so much for that

i've got my psych exam this afternoon and i'm very stressed out about it.
went into school for some revision lessons yesterday which helped a bit but i'm still feeling very under-prepared. i hate taking psychology exams, i cant do them. and i know i'll be sat that with nothing to write just staring at the clock.

ok i have taken a deep breath now. i'm not panicking but i'm still worried.
hannah is coming round at 10am to go over some stuff together and calm down together.

i really hate exams, this is the point where i'm not half way through yet, by this afternoon i'll feel better coz i'll be past that half way mark and closer to finishing, leaving school properly and going to america.

anyone who happens to read this before 3.30pm please be praying very hard for me. would really appreciate it! xxxx

so far so good

my ball dress is finished, cells went well tonight, only one exam this week and slight lie-in tomorrow.
things are going well :D

saw beth's play last night, it was amazing! i was so proud of her, it was silly hehe but i really was!
and then space cells tonight were good, new guy leader person wayne was brilliant, really honest and open and funny. he fitted in well :)

tomorrow i'm sleeping in a bit (mostly due to the fact i'm up a little late tonight talking to someone online) and then doing some revision, then hannah w and beth are coming round for some chill out time. then some more revision.

tuesday i've got lots of revision, including a drop-in revision lesson. and hannah s is probably coming round for some joint revision sessions.

then wednesday is my last psychology exam ever! we'll see what happens...

thursday is hannah swift's birthday so i'm doing some revision then seeing her and going out in the evening with people for that. i've also got charlie (my dog) during the day which will be nice.

friday is a nice chill out day, bit of revision, bit of sleep and tv.

then its the weekend and before i know it my last exams will be here, the balls will have happened and i'll have cried lots and then i'm going to america!!

hehe its so close i love it :D
anyway i'm off. much love xxxxx

two down, three to go!

did my theatre studies exam today. possibly the one i felt most confident about but of course as soon as i was waiting outside the gym i got all nervous.
as it turns out they were such good questions, and i think i did well :)

i'm about to go out shopping with my mum....although the rain is horrible :( meh i hate it when the weather contradicts my mood!

i'm out babysitting tonight and watching 'britain's got talent' its rubbish yet so good!!
hope all your exams are going well too!
much love xxxxx

one down, four to go

my first exam is over!!
it was psychology, this morning, my hardest exam.
it actually went ok. i know i missed some things and i got kinda panicky part way though but i calmed myself down and got on with it.
i know i didnt do great but i dont think i failed it either. i did my best and so if i do fail it, then its just the exam that i cant do rather than not trying.

anyway i'm gonna go have a bath i think to help chill out.
tomorrow i'm going to visit UWE which i my fave university and i cant wait to see it again!
next exam is on friday and i'm feeling alright about it, its drama and i know i can do drama.

hope everyone else's exams are going ok, please be praying for me coz although the hardest one is out the way, there's more to come.
much love xxxx

an ok weekend

i've done alot of revision! my first exam is on tuesday and its starting to dawn on me.
went to godzone this morning which was ok, tiring but not too bad.
then did some more revision this afternoon and also took a break to go shopping :)

then this evening was space together, it was good :) i had a laugh with mike, pete harvey, joe, sarah, anna and kat. i also got to catch up with an old friend which was very nice and a surprise coz i didnt know he was gonna be there.

now i've come home to blog and wind down before going to bed. i've got a long day of revision for psychology on tuesday and need my sleep :)
much love xxxx

p.s. just so you know and can pray, my exam dates are:
tues 12th june- psychology
fri 15th june- theatre studies
wed 20th june- psychology
tues 26th june- theatre studies
wed 27th june- english language

busy couple of days

the evening on wednesday i heard some not so nice news. one of my best friends anna, her eldest brother had had an accident at work and is in intensive care. i wont share much more but please be praying for her and her family.

anyway i stayed over with her on wednesday and during the day on thursday.
caught up on sleep thurs night. did ALOT of revision today to catch up too.
i'm babysitting tomorrow and possibly seeing anna too.
its difficult coz i feel so helpless, i hope i helped by just being there but i wish i could do more.

so thats why i havent posted since wednesday...although its actually only been two days, it feels like two weeks!

on other news, spring harvest is now officially booked!!! minehead week 2, i'm very excited :D i really didnt want to miss it again and i think, without realising i was doing it, i hadnt got my hopes up about next year coz i didnt want to be disappointed again.

i also got my leavers hoodie which was very weird coz it was another reminder that i've left school, its almost all over and then i get to go to AMERICA!!!!

okies so i'm off to bed :) night night to everyone!
much love xxxxxxx

i hate revision

it sucks!
my motivation is rubbish...i did a load on monday and tuesday, even went into a couple of lessons to help.
today i've got up, done an hour and already my head hurts. i think stress headaches maybe.
anyway i'm going to get some food and then do some more.
on the upside its 27 days until i go to america!!! i'm getting very excited :D
anyway back to the grindstone xxx

wooohooooooo!!!

spring harvest baby!
basically i was talking to luke very late on saturday night about spring harvest coz they have to book it this week :O
hannah swift said she couldnt commit to it, lucy said she couldnt. but it was ok coz anna had said she'd go with me....but no she couldnt now either.
i came home from cells feeling very deflated and rubbish about it all.

however i brilliantly thought of hannah walker...she wouldnt be tied down with uni commitments and would love to spend a week with me :) so i phoned her. after a long convo, lots of excitement and a few changes....me, hannah, my mum and her mum are now all going to spring harvest!!!!
it'll be brill to have hannah there with me :D and also my mum and hannah's mum are going too. i feel a bit bad coz my mum had mentioned wanting to go and i kinda rushed her into it. she assures me its ok and that she's really happy with the plan though :)

the slight other thing is that my dad wants to go too. unfortunately we have no idea whether pj will be at home or on rowing camp and wont know for a while so cant book for my dad to go incase pj is at home, and cant book for the family incase pj is away. plus it would change the dynamic alot, right now its an independant thing for me. having my mum there will change it a bit but not alot. having the whole family there would be way different.
my dad says its fine, my mum says its fine. i know its fine and i'm very excited about it...although a small part of me still worries that my dad wants to go and cant etc. however i'm trying to reassure myself that my parents have years left to go to spring harvest together!

so yeah basically a summary of that rant is:
i'm going to spring harvest!
my mum, hannah and hannah's mum are also going!
its being booked this week!
i'm very excited!!

much love xxxxxx

its too late...

...to be posting on my blog but i havent been sleeping well and i'm trying to wind down a bit before going to bed.
so have been playing a jigsaw game on computer. just checking emails before heading to bed and realised it was a couple of days since my last post.
i'm just enjoying my half term :)
murder mystery last night was alot of fun, majorly inappropriate at times but still a laugh.
we forgot to give out the party bags though (yes we had party bags, i miss the days of parties where you get a gift too!) so anna, pj and i drove round this afternoon to give them out. picked up mike along the way, although we stopped briefly at his house (his garden is huge and he has a tree swing!!!)
it was good fun, we found pete harvey at the skate park to give him the party bag...his friends were not impressed by us at all! just kinda stared at us like we were weird or something....

anyway i'm going to sleep in tomorrow morning, do some revision and then i'm out in the evening for leanne's birthday meal. should be good!
oooh and i need to organize cells....
hehe much love xxxxx