wow...

a whole week has gone by since i last blogged which is ridiculous coz it feels like it was yesterday!
since my last blog i have made up with my friend, seen Hairspray and Harry Potter 5, i've shopped for some new wine stuff and i've picked up my dad from the airport!

its only 6 days until new wine and i am getting very excited :D it should be good fun and i've got 2 lovely people in my tent, its gonna be a good week!

but for now my plans are to make sure i get a moo-moo's milkshake this week and to pack my bag! basically to chill out before the madness of the summer begins. coz after new wine it'll be results day, then girls holiday, then my cousin's wedding, then holiday club and then i start my gap year!

oh and this week i'm also sorting out some stuff for the dinner and dance :)
i was supposed to be going to reading tomorrow to go shopping but beth can't make it anymore. i might try and meet up with kate and go to oxford. who knows!

but yeah my summary is that time is moving quickly but i am enjoying my relaxing time and am looking forward to the rest of my summer :D
much love xxxxxx

blog-envy indeed

apparently my blog-writing skills are amazing lol and people envy them...
and also i am apparently a good writer.
both these things are weird to me for different reasons.

i write my blog out of frustration/excitement/need to rant. i dont think its amazing or that i write lots, although i've discovered i do blog alot!

a few people have told me that i'm a good writer. my english teachers said i have a good essay style and creative flow...whatever that means. but i dont have an ambition to be a writer so it feels weird when people say i am good at it because its not a talent or skill i was aiming to be good at.
i'm not blogging about this because i want to show off, i just wanted to share that i do like writing in my blog. its a way for me to let out my emotion and to feel like the world is listening. its good that i write well because that means people can understand what i'm saying....at least most of the time!

on a different subject the floods are still going on, abingdon made the national bbc1 news tonight. the river thames is set to burst its banks some point tonight apparently. which means we may have house guests since some family friends of ours live at the end of caldecott road, right where the ock joins the thames...not so nice.
pj, mum and i walked into town this afternoon to get hot chocolate and also to go check out how high the thames was getting. hehe flooding really brings people out to see whats going on.

i'm praying that this rain is just god getting it all out the way before new wine which is in two weeks. otherwise it could be an interesting week!
i'm also praying about the dinner and dance, preperations have come to a halt, hopefully it'll all work itself out soon as we need to get letters/invites out to people asap. please pray that we can do that!

anyway i'm going to chat online about the weather a bit more (how very british of me?!) and then go to bed, am tired since i didnt sleep well last night coz it rained :(
much love xxx

the rain ruins everything :(

on friday we didnt get to go see the movie coz we didnt want to go without val and she was stuck in traffic for 8 hours, poor her :(
but we did go get the new harry potter book! i read it yesterday (saturday) in about 7 hours, there were breaks in between as i took dad to the airport but still a good time i think and i loved the book, it was very good :)

however because of the horrendous rain and all the floods that have made it difficult to travel, i was very hesitant to drive to weston-super-mare for t4 on the beach. one of my friends sophie asked her dad and he said he would drive us. but after alot of discussion hannah swift and i agreed we didnt really want to spend hours in traffic and floods, and then spend hours on a cold, wet beach, and then spend hours in traffic again. we didnt think it was worth it and so decided not to go. hannah walker and sophie are still going but i dont know how far they'll get. i can understand why they want to go, its going to be a brill concert but there's always next year and i guess it just means more to them than to us. never mind, we're still seeing mcfly in november and can wait another year for t4 on the beach!

so basically today i'm not doing alot, i might sort out some more of my room (i did a spring clean a week or so ago but i seem to have messed up my desk again) and i have some photos to print off from the balls etc.

some family friends of ours who live in south abingdon might be coming round this afternoon since they had the environmental agency knocking on their door last night to warn them the river ock is highly likely to flood this afternoon and they might have to evactuate....so yeah the rain seems to be ongoing.
there's rumours that a heatwave is on its way, hopefully for the week of new wine, but at the moment it seems that everything is stopping for the rain!
at least i dont have to venture out of the house too much, no school, lots of free time, means i'm getting to sleep and relax...its very nice and i'm enjoying it while it lasts!

anyway i'm off to tidy my room a bit
much love xxxxx

getting better...

the friend who let me down has turned it back on me and tried to make me feel bad about being honest and after i sent a truce type text message she hasnt replied. i give up!

however things are working out with the other stuff. i feel better and less tired.

tomorrow i'm going to check out this activities centre with andy and emma, should be good fun. get to chat to andy on the way about gap year stuff :)

today i got to meet my cousin's 12 day old baby! shelby-louise...she's gorgeous and has beautiful blue eyes!

and after long msn conversations with someone i have a smile on my face hehe...its stupid how small things can turn the day around.

in longer term news, thursday i might be going shopping in reading, on friday i'm seeing the harry potter film and then going to get the book! and then on saturday i'm driving my dad to the airport and reading the harry potter book! and then on sunday i'm going to t4 on the beach!!!! am very very excited :D slightly early start, especially since i'm driving! but it'll be worth it!

anyway i'm off to bed methinks :)
much love xxxx

what a great weekend(!)

i've had a friend let me down, been annoyed by people talking down to me, today i've been ill and had to leave a family friend's dedication because of it.

i'd say i hope this week is better but after the friend letting me down i have less things to do. the people talking down to me have halted other plans, oh yeah and i still feel ill.

i know this is cryptic i'm just not going to name people because thats not fair to them or the people who know them.

surprisingly the one person who hasnt annoyed me today is my brother (he annoyed me yesterday though so its not all good)

i'm missing out on seeing someone tonight that i really wanted to see but cant because i'm ill and not going.

i'm stupidly tired coz i had to get up early this morning.
however i get to sleep in tomorrow coz i wont be staying at my friends like i thought, i might still go to reading tomorrow, just with a different friend. or maybe on a different day.

sorry to be so miserable in this blog. am just letting it all out.
prayers are always welcome :)
oh thats a good thing i can talk about...i've felt closer to god recently. praying a bit more, struggling with dedicating time to him each day but am trying. i know he's with me, especially in the crappy times.

thats all for now, am gonna go see beth :)
much love xxx

honey i'm hooooooooooome!!!

i've actually been home 3 days but i've been so tired that i havent quite managed to drag myself to the computer to blog.
the last couple of days in america were amazing, we had the party (made smores, went in the jacuzzi and had fireworks!) and monday we had manicures/pedicures and also did some more shopping. tuesday was mostly a packing day and going to the airport. the flight was pretty non-eventful, only 6 hours though so only had like 3 hours of broken sleep :( but i slept a bit more during the day and then went to peer leaders which was fun coz i got to catch up with anna and beth.

thursday anna, beth and hannah came round hehe and we set about organizing the space dinner and dance....'whats that?' i hear you ask. well its the most fantabulous, amazing, brilliant, awesome, mind-blowing, exciting idea in the whole wide world!
as a way to say goodbye to those people leaving space and to say hello to those people coming up in september. we're throwing a formal dinner and dance in september :) we're the party committee and it's going to be amazing! jazz band, food, awards, speeches...its going to be brilliant!!!

anyway i'm off to go to tescos with my parents, the reason i'm up so early is that a stupid fly decided to keep landing on my face for the last 2 hours...so i gave up trying to sleep and since i was unsuccessful in my attempts to hit it, i got up. blah!
much love xxxx

second usa blog :)

wow flying over new york was sooooo good! it was a little bumpy when we went lower but was gorgeous view. i saw the empire state building, ground zero, statue of liberty...it was all spectacular!
we also saw this amazing show last night, it was in this huge christian theatre and was called 'in the beginning' which was all based on genesis...they had live animals coming on and off stage. true story. (dogs, horses, sheep, goats, ducks, llamas) and it was truly a beautiful set, almost a 360 panoramic stage and it was just beautiful.
also went shopping :D this was particularly good since later this evening mum's bag was delivered but mine wasnt :( apparently we should get it tomorrow but since i have new clothes its not too bad.

today we went to church, it was an ok service, all about missionaries...my favourite part was when the guy told the congregation that we need to stand together and spread the word across europe because they are crying out as a continent for god's love. it made me feel called to maybe travel to england and spread the word since its obviously not being spread there already.....can you feel my sarcasm??
it annoyed me a bit but apart from that the service had an amazing youth band...the lead singer/guitarist was cute too which helped hehe :)
this evening we're having a graduation/18th birthday/just coz we're here party....putting some burgers on the grill and then having fireworks :D mostly all for me lol i love my godmother, all the family have been brilliant actually.
Joe took me driving earlier, using an automatic was easier than i thought, i got confused when there was no clutch though hehe and kept trying to drive on the left hand side (we were in an empty parking lot so it didnt matter too much though)

i've just realised that i've used like 4 or 5 american phrases already...i hope my accent isnt changing hehe although i'll probably bring back some phrases and spread them to my friends!
i'll be back on wednesday and babysitting that evening :O i'll be tired but who cares. and then thursday i might be meeting up with anna, hannah and beth to organize the greatest space social ever!!! a formal dinner and dance, ball type thing :D suits and dresses, jazz music, food, party favours, invitations, all very formal and grown up hehe. it'll also be a good way to introduce the new youth members who are coming up but also say goodbye to those who are leaving!

anyway i'm off to read my book outside, its about 90 F and sunny and gorgeous!
much love xxxxxx

this blog comes to you from america!

hehe i'm actually here!!!
despite the plane being an hour and a half late to leave (a baggage discrepancy) it was a good flight, i watch men in black hehe coz they have this new 'on demand' system where its not just some movies but also a library of movies and tv shows and also albums so you can make your own playlist!

thanks for all the prayers, i see now that god had a reason for what happened on tuesday. its so beautiful here, and so hot!
today the boys (Joe and Elliot) took me to a huge theme park and Joe's friend Liz came along, she's so lovely and we all had a really good time. Liz loves my accent, she even told 2 friends about it when they called her! we're also going out to a restaurant for dinner tonight.
we had lunch from this place called wawa, its like one-stop but with a subway style thing within it. you can use the computer to order your sandwich (or hougie as its called here) and then go pick it up once you pay for anything else you're buying. so much selection! i.e. i chose the option of 'a little bit of mayo' lol it was a good sandwich too!

tomorrow Colin (the dad) is flying mum and i over new york so we can see the sights! yes thats right, actually flying us over!
also we're going shopping tomorrow. on sunday we're using all the fireworks left over from july 4th (which got rained out....probably because i wasnt there!) and having a huge 18th birthday/graduation/finishing school/just because we're here party!!
then on monday we're doing more shopping and getting manicures/pedicures. then on tuesday some chilling time and also packing for leaving that evening. and we get back wednesday morning.

its so lovely here and although i'm seeing all the sights and stuff, i'm not doing the tourist thing, i'm living the real american life-style! its fab :D
anyway thats my blog from america, will try and blog more as i go!
much love xxxx

take two..

we've now got flights again. early tomorrow morning and coming back a day later.
i'm happy but obviously trying not to get my hopes up too much after yesterdays fiasco.
i'm starting to realise that maybe it just wasnt safe for us to fly yesterday and thats why god allowed it to be cancelled. and thats also why we've managed to get rebooked fairly easily today.
luggage is the only last obstacle- if we cant get it back before thursday morning then we'll have to pack other clothes, might mean small shopping tip lol. but who knows, it might all work out!
although if god did choose to allow the flights to be cancelled because it wasnt safe i wish he'd have told us sooner so we werent outside for 6 hours in total. and also made it so it was sunny outside rather than raining alot.
hmm we'll see how it all pans out xxx

a very long horrible not nice at all day

started off with only a little bit of traffic.
then got through security and stuff all ok.
oh then the whole terminal was evactuated because of a security scare.
after 4 hours outside in the car-park, enduring sun and hail and thunderstorms in a very attractive free yellow raincoat thing.
we finally got told all european flights and long-haul flights after 3pm were cancelled. that meant ours was still on.
took another 2 hours to get people back inside. (oh during this we made a nice friend called gerry)
then got through security again pretty quickly.
did a little shopping before hearing that 4 more flights were cancelled. starting to get worried we enquired about our own flight.
it was cancelled.
another 2 hours in passport control (not that we went anywhere) and baggage reclaim. we eventually gave up since our 'flight' still hadnt come up on the screen for baggage reclaim and dad had arrived outside.
so we're now home, not in america, very tired and without our luggage.

currently we're looking into going on thursday maybe if we can get flights and out bags back in time.
it might well not happen though.
i cried my eyes out most of the way home. am still on the verge of tears.
this is horrible and i hate it and i dont understand.
i prayed alot but it didnt seem to help since it still happened. which just makes me more upset coz i'm slightly mad at god...
not really mad but a little.

anyway i'm going to go read my book and then go to bed.
its been a long day and i just want to forget it.

woop i'm going to america!

in exactly 12 hours i will be getting up to go to america :O
i'm so excited!!! its finally here hehe and i really cant wait!!
i thought i would post tonight since i doubt i'll find time tomorrow, although i'll have access to a computer while i'm there so might be able to post and visit facebook (i expect lots of comments while i'm away!)

this has been my light at the end of the tunnel and its finally here and its so hard to believe, i hope i sleep really well tonight and i hope the flight tomorrow goes well and that the security checks dont take too long!

anyway thought i'd blog about the youth service on sunday night. i was directing the drama (which i wrote) and performing an interpretive dance (which i helped choreograph). arriving at church brought alot of stress since 2 members of my drama didnt turn up so pj and i had to step in. then found out we were supposed to be dancing on the stage blocks which arent very stable. then anna wasnt going to get there until 30 mins before the service so that was scary.
when we finally got a look at the stage blocks they were tiny, more stable than i thought so that was ok but beth and i tried to practice and nearly fell off, this was without anna even on the stage.

so then pj, phil, beth and andy tried to fit another block on the end. problem being that none of the sides seem to be able to bolt together.
by now we were running out of time for the drama practice.
i stood there feeling very helpless and stressed but took a deep breath and sat down to pray. i prayed so hard and as i opened my eyes they were gaffa taping the stages together! not very safe but a solution and an answer to my prayer.

we finally got a couple of drama run-throughs in and 10 minutes before the service began anna arrived and we got to do 3 dance rehearsals. we then snuck in at the back thinking we were going to be late, only to find they were in the middle of the first interview and we werent needed for another 15 minutes or so. big sigh of relief and big praise to god.

the service went really well. the drama was good, extra laughs came after peter ripped his trousers while climbing on stage hehe (sorry pete!)
then the dance came, beth and anna missed one of their turns which threw beth and meant that me and beth messed up part of our dance, we got it back on track though and apparently no-one noticed.
there was an awesome prayer activity lastly. and afterwards cells was mostly good fun :)
so a good sunday evening overall.

anna and i went for lunch today which was lovely, we went to the boundary house pub/restaurant and had baguettes which were yummy. then into town quickly (i got pj and i some cakes).
then came back and packed!!!

this evening my family were annoying me a bit, which just got me stressed that i was letting it wind me up. pj apologised, cleaned my dinner dishes away and offered to play fusion frenzy with me (which he normally doesnt want to play) and they all made an effort to play mahjohngg too. which cheered me up massively and made the evening turn out nicely.

i'm now off to watch a bit of tv and then go to bed and when i wake up i'll be going to america!!!!
much love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx