So yesterday I got the writing bug...that feeling like I want to sit down and do some work, so I jumped on that feeling and went to work on my dissertation.
Unfortunately as I started work my head went a bit crazy and was jumping all over the place with all the different jobs I need to do. So I wrote out my plan for the next 3 weeks...which is when I realised that I only have 3 weeks to finish my dissertation!
Plus my skeleton portfolio is due in at the same time...
Which lead me to the next feeling- I got 'The Fear'
'The Fear' is that constant nagging feeling in the back of your mind that you have dissertation work to do. It is there regardless of what you're doing. You can feel it in your stomach, in your chest, all over your body infact. It is both positive and negative. It is motivating and terrifying. In order to do your dissertation it is important to have 'The Fear' but it is also not a fun feeling at all.
'The Fear' has hit me full force and I have realised how little time I have left to write my dissertation. Plus I've been busy so I'm tired, and I'm still going to be busy and am on placement and I still want to enjoy the last bit of university...it's a little overwhelming.
It also makes me really unmotivated to go to placement, because as much as I'm enjoying placement, I'd much rather sleep and do dissertation work. It just really limits my flexibility and my time.
I think I just need to sit down and work out my week- I feel much more in control when I've done that which always makes me calmer...I am such a control freak sometimes!
Much love xxx
Sunday, 27 February 2011
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
Sick
Last summer, around July, I got my new academic diary and I made a prediction...that in the 4th or 5th week of this semester I would get ill.
And low and behold it's week 4 of semester and I have a cold!
Nothing horrible or anything, just a blocked nose and a sore throat, sneezing etc.
It was easy to predict, I know my body, when I get tired and busy it reacts with a cold.
I've been back doing placement almost full-time for 6 weeks now, it's missions week for CU which means events every evening...plus I've also just been busy socially anyway- so I got tired and now I have a cold.
Fortunately my placement is flexible and I've been able to do some work from home which means less driving and a comfy sofa to rest on.
The fact that it's missions week and there are events every night, and I've got lots of social things coming up, and I have my dissertation and skeleton portfolio due in soon, are things that can't be helped unfortunately!
So I'll just keep taking medicine, resting when I can, and hope it goes away quickly!
Other than that, life is pretty good- ticking along nicely :)
Much love xxx
And low and behold it's week 4 of semester and I have a cold!
Nothing horrible or anything, just a blocked nose and a sore throat, sneezing etc.
It was easy to predict, I know my body, when I get tired and busy it reacts with a cold.
I've been back doing placement almost full-time for 6 weeks now, it's missions week for CU which means events every evening...plus I've also just been busy socially anyway- so I got tired and now I have a cold.
Fortunately my placement is flexible and I've been able to do some work from home which means less driving and a comfy sofa to rest on.
The fact that it's missions week and there are events every night, and I've got lots of social things coming up, and I have my dissertation and skeleton portfolio due in soon, are things that can't be helped unfortunately!
So I'll just keep taking medicine, resting when I can, and hope it goes away quickly!
Other than that, life is pretty good- ticking along nicely :)
Much love xxx
Saturday, 5 February 2011
Perhaps I can have both
So I'm back on placement after my week of lectures and it's going well.
In terms of results, I got an A and a B+ which I'm so chuffed about :D I also got a resit because I missed the point of the coursework part of one module...fortunately it was an extra module anyway so won't affect my overall degree- although I probably will resubmit the assignment anyway.
This week on placement has been good, I'm struggling to motivate myself to go though- it's a good placement and once I'm more comfortable and feel like I know what I'm doing it'll be fine but it's disheartening to know that I'm only 8 days into the 100 days and I feel like I should be further through.
But praise God that it's a good supportive placement and I'm surrounded by good people and I'm enjoying the work- am trying to keep focussed on those truths that are from God, rather than the lies that are sometimes put in my head!
The other part I was struggling with was that I felt as though I'd had my time to be a student and now I had to crack on with placement and I was going to lose the social aspect. But actually I had a great time at BASC, I had a good weekend away with the CU exec, tonight I went for dinner with one of my closest friends (date night!) and I've got plans this weekend to see more friends and visit PJ & Hannah.
It's starting to dawn on me that I can do both- I can work hard on placement, do my dissertation and still see my friends. Obviously I have to give myself time to rest and placement comes before social life- but so far I'm doing ok and enjoying life still.
Plus it's starting to dawn on me that in 4 and a half months I'll be done! that's no time at all, so I might as well enjoy it now before things change.
And although I know my life will still be good, I'll still work full time (like on placement but paid), I'll still see my friends and family, I'll still do Godzone and New Wine and holiday club and all the things I do now...but I won't have CU, not in the way I have it now. I won't have all the same friends in the same ways which scares me.
I'm also very aware of the fact that I'm still single...somehow in my head I knew that graduating was the next milestone and I figured that getting married would be the one after that, and that's not even in view at the moment. I'm trying to remember that God is enough and that He has the right man picked out for me, but that's hard when you get a bit lonely and want that companion in your life. Wanting to be married and have children is the core of who I am and I know I'm young but that's all I want and sometimes it's hard when you can't see that happening any time soon.
Anyway, enough with the melo-dramatic stream of thoughts from my head!
Praise God that I have a good placement, a good life, and good friends and family to share it with :)
Much love xxx
In terms of results, I got an A and a B+ which I'm so chuffed about :D I also got a resit because I missed the point of the coursework part of one module...fortunately it was an extra module anyway so won't affect my overall degree- although I probably will resubmit the assignment anyway.
This week on placement has been good, I'm struggling to motivate myself to go though- it's a good placement and once I'm more comfortable and feel like I know what I'm doing it'll be fine but it's disheartening to know that I'm only 8 days into the 100 days and I feel like I should be further through.
But praise God that it's a good supportive placement and I'm surrounded by good people and I'm enjoying the work- am trying to keep focussed on those truths that are from God, rather than the lies that are sometimes put in my head!
The other part I was struggling with was that I felt as though I'd had my time to be a student and now I had to crack on with placement and I was going to lose the social aspect. But actually I had a great time at BASC, I had a good weekend away with the CU exec, tonight I went for dinner with one of my closest friends (date night!) and I've got plans this weekend to see more friends and visit PJ & Hannah.
It's starting to dawn on me that I can do both- I can work hard on placement, do my dissertation and still see my friends. Obviously I have to give myself time to rest and placement comes before social life- but so far I'm doing ok and enjoying life still.
Plus it's starting to dawn on me that in 4 and a half months I'll be done! that's no time at all, so I might as well enjoy it now before things change.
And although I know my life will still be good, I'll still work full time (like on placement but paid), I'll still see my friends and family, I'll still do Godzone and New Wine and holiday club and all the things I do now...but I won't have CU, not in the way I have it now. I won't have all the same friends in the same ways which scares me.
I'm also very aware of the fact that I'm still single...somehow in my head I knew that graduating was the next milestone and I figured that getting married would be the one after that, and that's not even in view at the moment. I'm trying to remember that God is enough and that He has the right man picked out for me, but that's hard when you get a bit lonely and want that companion in your life. Wanting to be married and have children is the core of who I am and I know I'm young but that's all I want and sometimes it's hard when you can't see that happening any time soon.
Anyway, enough with the melo-dramatic stream of thoughts from my head!
Praise God that I have a good placement, a good life, and good friends and family to share it with :)
Much love xxx
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