Doing better

I just realised that my last blog was over a week ago and was quite a dramatic one...and since I hadn't blogged in a while you might've wondered what happened to me! I'm absolutely fine :)
Didn't go away last weekend, decided to stay home and catch up on some rest and some work, and ultimately put myself and my degree before my social life...wow I sound so grown up!

I could've gone on the CU weekend away and had a fab time but I would've come back even more exhausted and that wasn't worth it. I was also starting to get a bit of a cold, and since Mum is down with the swine (yep that's right, the oink oink flu!) I thought perhaps I should just rest and let my body fight off whatever this could've developed into!
As it turns out I simply have a cold and haven't yet developed the swine, which is good.

This week I'm more rested but swing between being super stressed out about uni work, to being pretty chilled about it...it tends to depend on my mood and how tired I'm feeling at the time!

Mostly I'm doing better though, sleeping better especially...I think I needed the weekend to rest, I'd gotten into this vicious cycle where I was tired and therefore wasn't doing enough uni work, and then having stress dreams about uni work so therefore not sleeping enough which just lead straight back to not having enough energy to do the work etc etc etc...
Now I'm more rested I'm doing better, less stressed and sleeping better :)

Which helps since some of my friends are having tough weeks, so I'm glad I'm feeling better and can be there for them :) sometimes it sucks when I have no answers for them though...I like to be able to fix things and sometimes I don't know how...

Tomorrow I have a full day of lectures after which I normally would've gone to counselling but that isn't working out so well...unfortunately the counsellor isn't actually working on getting me to stay in Oxford, and she told me last week that what I actually need is something that she can't offer me...so I think maybe I won't be seeing her anymore.
However I potentially have my own new plan about how to try it again...so we'll see...mostly I'm realising that I have so much uni work and placement stuff that it's great if I can work on staying in Oxford but it isn't exactly top of my list of important things to do!

Friday is the inturnment of Grandpa's ashes...I think I spelt that right...basically his ashes are going to be put in the ground of my Auntie Linda's grave...which sounds kinda weird but also kinda nice. It's taken a while to organise but hopefully it'll be a sort of closure to that chapter. It'll be sad but probably not as sad as the funeral.
And then this weekend I plan to set aside some real time to do uni work, I've been doing lots of bits and pieces but there's a couple of things I need to really sit down and do.

Anyway I think that's a good update on my life :) I'll try and blog again soon! Placement is going well, enjoying it lots and developing my skills so that's good too.
I'm off to bed soon to sleep :) mmm I do enjoy my sleep!
Much love xxx

exhaustion

I took a sleeping tablet last night to try and help me sleep, not that it helped much, and this morning it left me so drowsy and tired that whilst trying to drive to oxford this morning I almost crashed my car :(
I almost ran straight into the curb...so I pulled over into a side road. It just wasn't safe, I was functioning properly. Basically exhaustion has set it.
It's been coming for the last week but today it really hit me. Going from months of doing not alot, to doing 9-5 every day of the week has just taken its toll.
I'm not sleeping well because I'm having stress dreams; for example last night I dreamt that I had to sleep because I then needed to write 1000 word essay on it and then woke up stressing about having to write the essay, only to realise that it was just a dream...
Sounds silly but it means that I'm not sleeping great, I am sleeping, just broken sleep which is almost worse, messes with my head more :(

I have alot to do this week though, and then next weekend is the CU weekend away, hmm I'm debating taking a sick day off placement tomorrow to give myself time to recover. Depends how I feel at the end of today. Right now I'm crashed on the sofa with my duvet, just trying to rest up a bit and settle my nerves, it was kinda scary almost crashing...could've been so much worse!

I'll try and blog later this week :)
Much love xxx

hmm interesting week...

This past week has been very good at points...and very bad at others...
I've loved my days on placement, and definitely enjoyed being back at uni :D starting to do modules that are about specific service user groups and that makes it very interesting...learning how to do assessments and write reports...it's interesting because it feels much more practical.

There has also been low points, mostly a falling out with Danni :( it's become much bigger than I thought it would and has stressed me out alot. Not something I thought I'd be doing this week. But hopefully it'll blow over quickly. I managed to give myself a headache on Friday from getting so stressed and worked up about it, and that's not good.

On another high, we hosted a CU Girls Social (yes, capital letters...it was that important!) on Friday evening which basically consisted of 20 girls, 7 pizzas and one girly film :D we watched 'my best friend's wedding' which is one of my favourite films! Troy and I were singing along to every moment and started clapping in the right place and everything haha!
It was a huge success :D

Ooh and a definite high was Hannah coming back from Birmingham! She's back for 10 days before heading off to India...I hadn't realised how much I'd missed her actually :( until I saw her and couldn't stop giving her hugs!

I think that's all I have to say :) it's the fair this week and lots of people from uni are coming with me :D so I'm very excited! I do love the fair!
Also I'm looking forward to continuing my placement and going to lectures...this term is going to be insanely busy but I think it's going to go super fast too :)
Much love xxx