yeah ok...

so i didnt do much over the weekend, i actually slept and relaxed alot coz i was very very tired and not feeling great :(
this week is starting to look ok though, got a few lessons off coz teachers are away or whatever, so i still have to work but can do it in the comfort of my home!
our new sofas for the playroom come tomorrow!! they are lush and i cant wait!!!
i'm also competing in a dragon boat race on sunday 13th may :D we're raising money for the Ace Centre which is a centre that looks after disabled children. our 6th form have been raising money for a while! so if you want to sponser me then let me know!
we're also doing a cake sale and a pub crawl to beg money off people!! hehe anything for charity :)

better go do some work, much love xxxxxxxxx

le weekend

i didnt get the shoes, they werent as comfy as i'd imagined.
i did look extensively at other shoes but to no avail!
it was quite a disappointing shopping trip actually :(
although i did introduce mum to moo-moo milkshakes which have got the be the most amazing milkshake/drink/food in the world!!!

i've got to get up early for godzone tomorrow...but should be fun, i'm making rattle shaker things with my group!
then the challis' are coming round for a BBQ lunch :) gotta love the sunny weather!!

ooooooh on a very exciting last note...i got tickets to mcfly arena tour this morning!!!! they are near the back but i dont care! the websites and phone-lines were so busy that i was going to take any tickets!!!

gotta go, 'any dream will do' is on...antony has gone :( broke my heart! but its ok coz lee might be winning it from him!!
much love xxxxxxxxx

general exhaustion

after such a late night on saturday and a long evening at space on sunday. then feeling ill at the beginning of the week and of course every subject teacher piling on the essays and homework, plus revision...i'm extremely tired.
i know i say that i'm tired alot, but its really hard to communicate whats its like to feel like this.
its not an overwhelming sleepy tired, its a completely exhausted body and brain. sleep helps but since during the day i'm not resting to give my body time to catch up, its not solving the problem.

my mum has kindly banned me from going out this weekend, i dont mind at all coz it means anything i might've commited to normally i dont have to go to, i can stay home.

for those who know me you might be shocked by my next statement....my brain is so tired that i dont want to watch tv.
yes thats right...me, sarah, ultimate tv watching fiend, doesnt want to watch tv. my brain isnt working enough to follow any program really.
havent got many lessons tomorrow so in the afternoon i'm going to go shopping with my mum and show her these shoes i love...since we're the same shoe size she might fall in love with them and split the cost...but i doubt it since they're black with cute tiny white stars on and kinda more teenager-ish!

anyway i'm going to put all the work i've done today into my folders and then go crash on a sofa methinks.
please pray that i can recharge my batteries this weekend and really get going next week so i'm preparing properly for exams.
much love xxxxxxxxxxx

my weekend

well i said i'd post about the weekend...i've built it up now and its not that interesting!!

aside from the obvious excitement that it was cassie's 18th birthday!
she had a party for her family and friends on saturday night which was alot of fun. until it got near the end.
i'd said i would drive 2 of my mates jenny and gemma home at about 12.30 (when the party ended). except then jenny said she'd stay a bit later and then they would walk home.
obviously i objected to this! no way was i gonna let the two of them walk home on their own at 1am, especially since they were both somewhat drunk.
you guys want to know jenny's solution to this? she got two guys she knows to come meet her at the party to walk her home.
this was an even worse idea!! it took me aaaaaages to persuade her to get in the damn car! eventually i got her in the car and got her and gemma home...which meant i got home at 1.30am!! later than i'd said and so the parentals were worried, luckily they understood once i'd explained.

i love that girl but she does not give a thought to her own safety when she's drunk. it was frustrating but i guess kinda worked out in the end.

of course along with a visit from my godparents and their little boy, and space in the evening. i ended up very tired which then made me feel ill on monday.
i'm feeling better today, tired but better.
both my lessons were kinda cancelled today (theatre teacher wasnt there so we got sent home with some work to do. psych teacher wasnt there and no work left for us) so i've spent most of today doing my theatre essay. i've just finished...its not long enough or good enough but i'm going to send it to my teacher and then can rewrite it when i get her comments.

space was good, we were planning the youth service on sunday. i'm giving a testimony, not a clue what i'm going to say. will sit down and work it out at some point! its a good testimony from new wine, plus it helps introduce me to the congregation as a pastoral assistant for next year!

i'm going to go do some psychology work. then i'm going to pilates later...should be relaxing hopefully!
much love xxxx

not-so-woo-hoo

i'm off school ill today :( my throat and head hurts...i think the fact that i'm very tired doesnt help. am going to try and go in this afternoon.
anyway was just posting to say that i was going to post a very long weekend blog but my head hurts so am just going to leave the computer alone.
much love xxx

a-woo-hoo!

i just found out i've got an A in my psychology coursework!!!
also i handed in my english dissertation :) (i wont have got an A in that!)

thats my second A in the last 6 weeks!! hehe :D
am very happy and smiling alot!!!

much love xxxxx

typical!

this afternoon the phone rang and it was my brother asking me to pick him up from rowing as he'd hurt his leg.
on the way there i was thinking 'what an idiot'
but he's actually hurt it lol. i ended up taking him to minor injuries after i saw he was in pain and it needed checking out (not that he'd listen to me, i had to phone mum to get her to tell him it needed checking out!)
he's strained a muscle/ligament by his knee. its not serious but its painful. it means he's on crutches for a week and off rowing for 2-4 weeks...if you know my brother at all you will be right in thinking he's pretty gutted.
hopefully we're going to get him to a physio and go from there.

it meant i spent my afternoon and evening playing maid/nurse/bag-carrier/chef/chauffeur!
i feel bad for him coz it obviously hurts alot :(

anyway i'd better go finish printing out my dissertation so i can hand it in tomorrow! then thats all my coursework out the way :D
much love xxxxxxxxx

kinda freaked

this is probably going to sound stupid but i have to let the emotions out somewhere.

i just came up to my room and it was dark, and my brother kinda just came out of the darkness. he'd gone in to my room to get his phone charger and i didnt expect him to be there.
he didnt mean to scare me but he did. for a split second it wasnt my brother it was a stranger in my room. i've just cried alot. my mum walked me back in and i was just about ok with the light off but door open but when she closed the door it just made me cry more, really didnt like it. hopefully in the morning i'll be ok. but it really scared me because its my home and i should feel safe in my home but for a second i didnt.

tonight i'm sleeping with my door open and i'm sure i'll feel better in the morning. its just one of those moments where your body and emotions react and my fear came out in lots of tears.
thats it. anna's been lovely and sent me a cyber hug :) which has helped. my mum prayed with me and i know i can always go find her if i wake up and am scared.
send your love and cyber hugs my way! xxx

you gotta love birthdays!

its my mate cassie's 18th on wednesday and her party on saturday. and i've just put together all her presents :) i got her like 5 things hehe coz she's amazing and you only turn 18 once! i didnt even spend stupid amounts of money either!
i'd tell you what i got her but then if she happened to read this it would ruin it for her.

on another very exciting note, tomorrow i go to see mcfly!!!!!!!!
i'm extremely excited! its gonna be an amazing show i think, i've heard their shows so far have been fab :)

anywho i'm off to 'curves' in a minute, i've just joined this women's workout club which is looking like it might work for me. only 30 mins long and worked for my aunt.
so yeah i'm gonna go!
much love xxxxxxxxx

ah school

i'm back tomorrow. at least for the morning lesson. coz larkmead havent managed to be in sync with jms and fitz for their inset days so i have to go do drama theory at 9am.
really cant be bothered! although i suppose it'll be kinda a build up to getting back into school.

this whole term is going to be constant revision methinks. but in 11 weeks i will be done! completely and utterly! and i even get study leave in about 6 weeks possibly...hopefully anyway!
and i'm going to america the week after i finish so i gotta look forward! the last term flew by so hopefully this one does too!

then i'll be doing new wine, holiday club and girlies holiday. then gap year.
i feel like i'm in limbo! most of my friends are either going to uni or going away from abingdon and i'm staying. and i dont regret staying here but i feel kinda like i'm drifting along in limbo. tis very weird.

anyway i'm gonna go watch some tv then go to bed, need sleep!
much love xxxx

i'm just a big kid really

hence why when i wanted to go iceskating i offered to take my 7 year old godsister...hehe she enjoyed it, as did beth and i! i love ice-skating! i dont even care that those stupid skates gave me a horrible blister on my foot!

i'm also loving the sunny days :) even if soon it'll be time for school again. i'm starting to make some real headway with my dissertation. got to do a summary of my results, a conclusion/evaluation, a bibliography thing and then i'm done!
i've actually been working really hard on it...i hope it shows in my result, but tbh i'm not sure it will, i havent exactly enjoyed it and dont know how well i'll have done.

it really hit me yesterday that i'm not at spring harvest. i was supposed to go for like the 4th year but it hasnt happened. the family taking me chose not to go in the end and i couldnt find another way to go. i think its affecting luke, nathan and nathan more though since they're there and apparently it feels really empty and weird without us. but since i'm at home and nothing has changed, it wasnt affecting me.
but yesterday i suddenly imagined the boys there, going to group and on the beach and stuff like that and it really hit me that i'm not there. it really sucks..i know thats not very descriptive but its the only way i can express how i'm feeling. i want to be there so badly.

and its looking more and more like i'm gonna be alone at new wine. well i'll have friends there but no-one to really share a tent with. kat and her friends are going but no offence to her, i really dont want to share a tent with her and her friends...i'd just be left out. and i could share with ashleigh and kym but after last year i know they just dont stop talking or moving and i dont want to share a tent with them.
it looks like hannah might not be able to go and she's my last hope. i'd have some people there to hang out with but none of my close girl mates and i'm getting more and more worried about going because i think i'll just end up on my own. i dunno if there's a reason for it or if god will work something out, but i'm praying really hard about it at the moment.

anyway thats my post for today, i ought to go do some dissertation work and get it out the way!
much love xxxxx

weird

isnt it weird how tiredness can overtake your whole body and get to a point where it feels like you're outside of your own mind and watching yourself go about life. and how despite being so tired from last night's space sleepover, i am still up at 10.45 because my neck is stiff from sleeping funny last night and i'm waiting for painkillers to kick in.

anyway, the space sleepover last night was amazing.
i had a good cry to anna about some stuff...i think i'd got to a point where every time i got excited about my gap year, something small would make me question it. and as much as i trust that its where god wants me, i wish it wasnt so hard. i mean i know it has to be testing coz otherwise i wouldnt learn anything from it, but why is it this difficult and i havent even started.
as i was crying i had kinda a realisation that in the midst of questioning god, i wasnt trusting him with my questions. that might not make sense, but i think that even when you are having trouble with god you should still be really honest with him. so i was. i cried and talked to god and i felt his arms go around me and just let me know he was there. i still am finding it hard to trust him with next year, but at least this way i'm talking to him while i work through it!

another part of the evening that got me thinking was when we talked about jesus' crucifixion (cant spell it). i find it so easy to gloss over what jesus did for us, even though we get reminded every year. i forget that he was beaten and humiliated before he even had to go on the cross. he was tired, in pain and broken and yet he still made the ultimate sacrifice for me.
obviously he made it for everyone, but its knowing that even if it was just me he would still have done it.

on a brighter note, i'm like a little child about the fact that we get easter eggs tomorrow. having thought deeply about the true meaning of easter i think i'm allowed to be excited over chocolate!!
and also today anna, beth and hannah came over and we planned out our holiday, we're going to book it in the next week hopefully...tis very exciting.

i'm also going to do some more dissertation work tomorrow, which i hate but have to do. the holidays are like half over and it feels like no time at all! soon exams will be here which is starting to scare me.
as much as i'm looking forward to going to america afterwards, i have a long way to go before i can feel free.

anyway i'm going to go to bed now, after writing another one of my poorly-constructed, completely-nonsense-filled, highly-amusing blogs :)
much love xxxxx

and the murderer was...

PJ!!!!

lol we'd suspected for years but last night we found out he really had killed someone!


in the murder mystery...of course! PJ's character was an American soldier who killed Herr Bevore because he was going to tell people he was PJ's father!

it was such a funny evening :) lots of slutty costumes, some man-o-man loving and lots of sexual innuendo!

oh and of course lots of talk about gareth's rather large sausage and how it was kept up david's back passage (at his restaurant...get your mind out of the gutter!)


but yeah was alot of fun and giggles :)

we're all dead when andy and emma see the pictures though! here's a group shot just to give you a taster!



much love xxxxxxxxxxx

opening lines quiz

i'm up early, reading other people's blogs and have stolen this from ben jeapes :)

The great opening lines quiz. You can even make up your own. Get your iPod (or whatever; in my case, Windows Media Player), set it to shuffle and note down the opening lines of an arbitrary number of tracks. In this case, 20. Exclude the ones that are too obvious (i.e. have the name of the track in the first line) and, well duh, the instrumentals. And don't be afraid to admit that some of these tracks, okay, you're a little embarrassed to have them in downloaded, easily erasable form.
And no sneaky Googling answers, right?

but to make it harder/easier all these opening lyrics are from Relient K!!

1. so it was jeremy in 1983/in his ocean pacific t/who got a bloody knee
2. I watched the proverbial sunrise/Coming up over the Pacific
3. Yesterday/Is not quite what it could've been
4. When I made up my mind/And my heart along with that
5. People make mistakes/we find that everything breaks
6. We should get jerseys cause we make a good team
7. I’ve given up on giving up slowly/ I’m blending in so You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
8. Should I start this song off with a question?
9. It's been a year/Filled with problems/But now you're here/Almost as if to solve them
10. When he was seeing her/You could see he had his doubts
11. what's up dude/i'm getting kinda bored
12. All the girls in the bathroom talking
13. I was just about/to quote Mark Twain/when I realized that/it's all in vain
14. So here I sit looking at the traffic lights/The red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites
15. So I've made up my mind/I will pretend/To leave this world behind
16. arg wu sentafinticate nar dunderford
17. Fear can drive stick/And it's taking me down this road/A road down which/I swore I'd never go
18. we all know the girls that i am talking about/well they are time bombs and they are ticking
19. well I've never been to Greenland/and I've never been to Denver/and I've never buried treasure in ST Louie or ST Paul
20. can smell the death on the sheets/Covering me/I can't believe this is the end


well that should be fun for you all...i'm off to have a shower!
toodles xxxxxxx

oh..my..gosh...he's...back!

chad michael murray!!!
is back!!!
on sunday.....i cant contain myself!!!

hehe my favourite tv show 'one tree hill' is back for the latest series on sunday!!!

he's so hot!!! and the show is amazing and i love it and i'm all excited!!!!

anyway thats it for today, am also very excited about murder mystery tomorrow :D

much love xxxxxx

is it coz i'm cooooooooooool?

got that song in my head!
hehe :)
its my mum's birthday tomorrow, should be a nice family day.
and then on wednesday its the murder mystery!!

today i went out with anna for a bit of a drive, she's a very good driver :) hehehehe then a bird pooed on her windscreen...there was a split second silence then both of us went 'eeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww' and then laughed hysterically for about 10 minutes straight, especially when anna couldnt work the washer and ended up switching on the wipers and smearing it all across the screen! was soooo funny!!!

i also made up with kate. we had a really long talk about it all and both admitted we'd been wrong in some places and both apologised and both got all our worries and problems out. it was nice, we really talked it through and got to the bottom of why we were both mad. then spent the rest of the evening txting about tv shows, boys and why we hate lukewarm baths! i really missed her the last couple of days.

anyway i'm off to bed, am so tired! have you ever just found yourself realising how much you actually look forward to going to bed at night? i find myself doing it all the time!

much love xxxxxxxx

p.s. the boy txt me again tonight. about how much he wishes i was going next week (to spring harvest). i know we're just friends and i'm happy with that. but he txts me or i see him and all the things i found attractive about him come rushing back and i go 'aw damn it i want him!'
i know i dont, but its that rush of emotions and alot of hormones lol.
never mind, in 18 months i'll be at uni and will meet loads of guys! woo!!

and all that jazz

its sunday
cd player being installed today :) coz my cousin and his fiancee are visiting...will be nice to see them.
cant believe we're only 2 days into the holidays...its brilliant! gotta go the relaxing time.
i mean i have alot of dissertation work to do but aside from that its all fun and chilling!
my costume for the murder mystery is currently being tweaked and finished off by my amazing nanny who is helping me get it all together!
i'm a sexy french maid/waitress. should be wicked! xxx