i have good reasons!

I honestly do have good reasons for not writing for ages.
Most recently our youth group at church have been dealing with the fall out of an accident involving some people that we know. I won't go into details but be praying for us all.

Also I had alot of meetings and stuff to prepare for the all age worship I lead last sunday at LF. Plus just general youth work stuff. Oh and weekend before last I just ended up having alot of really nice relaxed social things with house group friends- which was brilliant because it was pretty spontaneous and alot of fun...something I hadn't done in a while.

To update you all on my medical stuff:
I saw the consultant today, pretty nice doctor man which is always good. Asked some questions, did an examination, took more blood (because I'm a pin-cushion apparently!) and has ordered a CT scan. So I'm having that on thursday. He says his instinct is that I'm absolutely fine and basically the CT scan is to rule out that 1% chance that there's something else there. If the scan is clear and there's no changes in the blood levels then he's happy to just leave it there.
And I'm pretty happy with that too. I trust him, but more importantly I trust my mum who was with me and I know if there was something wrong with his judgement that she wouldn't leave it...the professional in her wouldn't let her. It's really good having a mum who's a pretty senior nurse- means that she knows alot of stuff from experience so can come with me and ask the questions that I wouldn't think to ask.

Anyway that's all, I'm pretty shattered again which isn't good but I'm hoping this week can only get better. I've got Tiff (a girl from the youth) shadowing me this week because she couldn't sort anything else out for her work experience, but she's a friend so it should be fun :)

Keep praying
much love xxx

a quiet day

today has been alright so far, since I'm working every night this week I'm taking today as a quiet day...particularly because I also saw the doctor this morning.
my xray is back and is clear...my blood test was for a different level which was fine. saw my doctor to talk about the next steps:
he doesn't want to leave it alone, although he's sure it's nothing serious so he's going to do some phoning round and find a consultant to refer me to for further investigation.
so things are progressing slowly.

in other news I've joined a facebook group for brookes freshers and already met some people from my halls (different blocks but same campus) and a girl who's also doing social work :) I love facebook!!

my gap year is coming to an end...I'm starting to book in farewell BBQ's and goodbye lunches which is weird but kinda nice...people are really keen to give me a good send-off which makes me feel like I've done some good stuff this year :)

anyway I know that isn't a very long blog but I will try and blog again soon
much love xxx

not much of an update

I still don't have my xray results, have just had another blood test so also waiting on those results now too.

I'm exhausted and the week doesnt show much sign of letting up.

Other than that I don't have much to say!
Apologies for the lack of interesting news :)
much love xxx

medical update

I talked to the doctor yesterday and he recommended that I get a chest xray just to rule some things out. So I had that today, but won't get the results for a couple of days or so.
Also wants me to have another blood tests but for slightly different things, so I'm having that on tuesday.
Am kinda pleased that my doctor wanted to do these tests because at this point I'd prefer to know one way or the other what's going on.
Assuming the xray is clear, he's probably going to refer me to a consultant or someone for a second opinion because apparently I'm a particularly interesting case hehe.

I'm not worrying about it so much at the moment but obviously it's still playing at the back of my mind so prayers are always welcome.

Other than that I'm using work as a distraction, particularly since holiday club preparation is starting which is very exciting :D but thats all. will post when I know more!
much love xxx

just another hiccup

so I had my blood test and got the results today, one of my levels is still high. its really weird to have just this level up apparently...my doctor is phoning me tomorrow to talk about it.

this latest hiccup has thrown me a little bit...I can't really explain it...I know I'm fine, I haven't got a life-threatening condition because otherwise my other levels would be showing something...I guess I just assumed that this blood test would be all clear and it would be over.

I feel like this whole year has been filled with little speed bumps that have tested me in different ways...not getting into UWE, not getting the halls I thought I would, different challenges at work...its made me grow up and definitely deepened my faith...I'm just trying to figure out how that helps me in this situation.
For instance, I now know to think in a straight line before bed, write down my thoughts first because otherwise I think in circles and can't sleep. I know that God wouldn't give me more than I can handle. I know that anything that happens is ok because He's with me.

But that doesn't stop the horrible knot in the pit of my stomach that gives me that uncomfortable feeling where I almost want to cry just in order to let the emotion out.
I've got that knot right now.

I don't know whether you're following any of this. I just needed to get it out before I could go to bed. It's not like I can change anything about the blood test tonight and I can't talk to the doctor any earlier so I should just relax. Unfortunately that's easier said than done!

Either way I'm going to bed now, I'm going to pray for peace and hopefully get a good night's sleep because I think that I look like i need it!

will write tomorrow about what the doctor says.
much love xxx