who would’ve thought it?

I did well…I did really well :D

I got 3 B+’s and an ungraded pass :D (fit for practice doesn’t get graded, you either pass, resit or fail).

that’s so good! best grades I’ve ever gotten!

I’m sad though coz Dina got a technical fail on F4P, hopefully she can sort it out and resit it coz she did well on her others…I can’t imagine doing the course without her! And Adam failed Human Growth & Development but he can definitely resit that one and I’m gonna make sure he passes this time! Danni passed all hers and so did all my other friends (although one person on my course is complaining about only getting B+’s and not getting A’s…*rolls eyes*) B+ is amazingly good and it was our first try, now we can get the feedback and improve on this semesters assignments!

basically I’m very chuffed with my grades and am going to celebrate by making mickey mouse shaped waffles for breakfast!

Much love xxx

oh…

and as a last bit of news which I left out:

my grandma has been admitted to a community hospital for a little bit- it sounds bad but it’s a good thing coz it gives my grandpa a break from caring for her and means she’ll get some good treatment time…Dad was there this weekend though and it sounds like she wasn’t doing very well today. hopefully it’s nothing too bad though.

keep praying for them please :) xxx

long weekend and dreading tomorrow

I can’t remember what I wrote in my last blog but this weekend I went to BASC- Friday afternoon before I left I got super panicky, Mum and PJ had to calm me down before I could go. It was more about being in control and I just had to take each bit at a time. So on Friday night I just focussed on getting through the night, then on Saturday morning I just tried to get to the afternoon…once I got to Saturday evening I was fine coz I knew I was leaving the next day so I finally relaxed and actually really enjoyed myself.

Overall it was a good weekend, some wobbly moments which weren’t so good but from Saturday afternoon onwards I had a really good time, I got much closer to Teresa and Claire who were both incredibly supportive, I made some really good new friends and laughed alot :D so it was good to do. It didn’t magically fix everything but it’s a stepping stone.

 

In other news, it’s results day tomorrow :s 9am tomorrow my results go up on my personal Brookes page and I can log-on and get them…I’m nervous now. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been saying ‘oh and I just want them now!’ and whilst that’s true, I’m also very nervous. These are my first results and they’re going to be the benchmark for the next 3 years…I think I worked hard but I have no idea what kind of grade that equals on a uni course! I was pretty confident I passed them all…right up until tonight when I suddenly thought about the possibility of failing…I’ve been confident before, I’ve thought that I worked hard and still failed, it happened in A-levels and it could happen now. I just haven’t got a clue!

Anyway I’m going to bed now, will hopefully sleep well tonight, I don’t want the nervousness to disturb my sleep! will post tomorrow with results!

Much love xxx

i take it all back!

you know how I said I was looking forward to working?

well I take it all back!

lol nah I don’t completely take it back, I had a fab week with some amazing kids and enjoyed myself alot.

unfortunately going from doing nothing to doing 12 hour days wasn’t good for my body. by wednesday I was exhausted, got a horrible headache and ended up leaving work early…I had to stop on my way home to cry coz I was so tired. I got home and crashed on the sofa where I slept for 2 hours…I had to set an alarm to wake myself coz otherwise I would have slept for a lot longer. I was in bed by 10.30pm and slept straight through…which I haven’t done in weeks!

I went back to work yesterday, still tired but feeling brighter and had a great last day. all the kids said goodbye, it was sad :( i spent the last hour of my day with 2 of the quieter kids who barely spoke to me during the week but once they were on their own they really came out of their shell so that was nice.

I was in bed by 11pm last night which I think is why I’m up at 10am today…am feeling more rested but still tired. this week was very tiring but also very enjoyable. and since I now have a good bit of time to recover I think it was worth it (although if you’d asked me that on wednesday I might have answered differently :p)

 

I’m not really doing much this weekend, it was Dad’s birthday yesterday so we’ll probably do something as a family to celebrate. but my Grandma had a couple of falls on wednesday so I’m not sure how much Dad has thought about it.

next week I’m hoping to visit Anna in Cambridge, see Hannah for one last time before she leaves for America for like 5 or 6 months :( and on wednesday I’m going to London to see Wicked! am very excited about that! and then next weekend I’m off to BASC…which I’m feeling more positive about now that I have a plan :)

that’s all I have to say I think :)
am sure I’ll blog again soon
Much love xxx

bring on the work!

last week was pretty uneventful…I didn’t really do alot, it felt like a very unproductive week to be honest and I hate that feeling.

I didn’t realise how much I’d miss university and miss having stuff to do!

fortunately this week I have some kids work booked, which means I get to do something, not just any something either, kids work, which I love! and I get paid :D I’ve got to go to the conference place in a little bit but don’t actually start the kids work until tomorrow.

am looking forward to it :)

other than that I don’t have much to say…results are in two weeks…would like them sooner!

met with a lady from Christchurch to have a chat and a bit of prayer ministry about the whole fear thing I have left from halls, was really good and helpful. and I’m meeting her again before going to BASC which I’m hoping will help.

that’s all…I need to go dry my hair and put everything in the car so I can set-up whilst I’m there today :)

Much love xxx

highs and lows

Mum has written a new blog where she talks about her highs and lows of 2008 and it has inspired me to do the same. alot of them will be very similar but some will be different:

lows of 2008: Grandma & Grandpa being so ill. the whole uncertainty about my blood tests. PJ’s brief but very scary illness. dealing with certain new people in our previously calm circle. my gap year. the whole halls stuff.

I think the halls thing was the lowest. Mostly because I couldn’t see a way out, I was so low and that terrified me. I can deal with illness and stuff, I mean its bad but I can cope, I’m good at coping with that kind of thing. but not the halls stuff. I crashed and it was bad. it doesn’t help that some of that fear is still there :(

 

highs of 2008: keeping the same good friends and making new ones. New Wine. Spring Harvest. my gap year (I realise I put that in my lows but the whole year was a rollercoaster!). PJ and Hannah still going strong- I don’t think they realise how much of an inspiration they are to me to keep looking for love. Speaking of inspirations- my parents- getting to be such good friends with my mum and being so close to both of them, this year I realised how lucky I am to have that. my birthday. christmas. University.

the biggest high has to be university. I love it. it just works. I have good friends, I love my course, every day at uni shows me how right this course is for me. and God knew it all along. that’s why he placed me at Brookes. because the halls thing was coming and he made sure than none of it would affect my course…he’s pretty smart!

 

looking at that, actually my biggest high is God. my relationship with him has grown enormously in the last year. my gap year in particular was huge…being so immersed in the church world day in and day out made me really evaluate my friendship with Him and drew me closer. and even through the halls stuff, although I was terrified, I knew he was with me…and as much as I hated it and never want to go back to that place- God never gave me more than I could handle. I love Him more and more each day. I feel Him working in me. and it feels amazing! alright, so I still don’t read my bible enough and I should definitely pray more…but he’s the first one I turn to and that’s something immense.

 

wow this blog is longer than intended! I meant to do a quick blog and then go to bed coz I slept really badly last night so need get some rest. but I’m glad I wrote all that down.

that’s all for now :)
Much love xxx

a new year, a new look…

you may well notice that my blog has gained a new look :)

I have started a second blog, a completely private one, don’t worry- this one will still get written in lots…the other one is about something separate.

but because I was creating a new blog I got another look at the possible layouts so I thought I would change mine on here!

time is speeding past, I have a few odd jobs to do but mostly I think this week won’t have much in it. the week of 12th January I have booked a week of kids work for CMS which should be good- it’s paid which is also a bonus.

then the week after I’m hoping my proper job will have started, before I then go to BASC the following weekend. I have decided to go on the Friday afternoon until the Sunday. it’s the only way I can really deal with it in my head and cope with the fear. it also means I’ll be driving myself and have my car with me which is good…plus if I have started my job I have the week free to work :)

the following Monday- the 26th January- I get my results for this semesters modules…it’s kinda scary and I really wish I could have them now! I worked hard and am proud of what I did, particularly Human Growth & Development…I want my work to be reflected…which probably means it won’t because in 6th form whenever I thought I’d done well and worked my hardest it was normally the subject I did crappest in :( like in psychology at AS level and Drama over both years…we’ll see…now part of me doesn’t want to know!

never mind, I’m off to bed, am pretty tired, not sleeping great :(

Much love <3 xxx

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Well it’s officially 2009…how weird is that to say?

New year’s eve murder mystery was good fun :D the murder was slightly more complicated and the presence of a sub-plot where we made films, although it was one of the funniest parts for me, meant that we lost some of the main murder mystery solving business…people started to realise this half way through and started sharing information more willingly because we were running out of time…unfortunately this meant there was less ‘twists’ of information during the reading of the solution. if the evening had been longer then we would have been fine! as one of the producers/film-makers I spent most of my evening trying to find a crew and cast and not so much finding out who killed my husband!

turns out the murderer was Kara Montague- played by Hannah who was actually trying to kill me because she wanted my husband to leave me for her but he wouldn’t coz he needed my money…. its all very complicated!

I’ll admit I was worried it wouldn’t be so good this year for a few reasons, and I’d built it up so much in my head that I didn’t know if it’d live up to it…but it did mostly. I think my enjoyment of the evening is probably brought down by the lull I feel now: everyone is gone and I’m very tired and need to go to bed so feel a bit…'meh’

hope that makes sense! overall I think it was a fun evening and I enjoyed it :D

oh and in case you were wondering, my new year’s kiss was with Mireille :p

Much love xxx