has a week really passed?

it's been about a week since my last blog and I'm still not better....in fact since last weekend I've gotten worse, been to hospital and back again!

I'm ok, the hospital trip was to get a second opinion really. I got the antibiotics on monday and then tuesday afternoon I felt worse, headache got worse and felt nauseous, spent tuesday night almost throwing up and then almost fainted in the bathroom, then my body just seemed to stop wanting to work...I felt heavy and tired and couldn't find the energy to move. Wednesday morning we phoned the doctor and he asked me to go in and see him and he then sent us to the JR to get a second opinion. Because I've got this history of all my blood tests and my ESR being high, he was being cautious...which I appreciate because I was supposed to get better, not worse!

So ended up spending 5 hours in the JR, had some blood tests and a chest xray, and the conclusion was that it's definitely sinusitus and it's possible that the antibiotics made me feel worse so they switched me to different antibiotics and gave me anti-sickness tablets too. unfortunately the new antibiotics still have part of the old antibiotics in (the old ones were amoxicillin, new ones are part amoxiclav and part amoxicillin) so my stomach is still gurgling a bit and I'm not eating lots of things.

So at the moment I'm looking for the little things, the little improvements...like today I don't feel as off balance when I stand up...tiny thing but I'm holding onto it because I want to be better by monday so I can go to uni again...I don't want to think about missing another week :(

that's all to say...sorry my last few posts have been just about me being ill but like I said, nothing much else has happened!
Much love xxx

long and frustrating weekend

this weekend has been good but also incredibly frustrating...my aunt and uncle are visiting us which is lovely because we all get on with them really well and I enjoy seeing them. Particularly since my cousin is getting married in September and I'm the chief bridesmaid so it was fun to hear my aunt conveying all the details- got me very excited about the wedding!

on the other hand I'm still ill so haven't really been able to do anything :(
I went back and saw the doctor on thursday and he basically said that I haven't been ill long enough for him to know for certain that anti-biotics will work, it could still be a virus. but if I still felt ill by monday to ring him and he would prescribe them...it's monday tomorrow and I still feel like crap so I think I'll be phoning him in the morning!

it really sucks coz I want to go into lectures tomorrow, I love uni and I miss my friends alot and I hate that I probably won't make it in again. Plus it means I'm missing more work. We only have lectures on mondays and tuesdays but they cram a whole week's worth of information into those 2 days. I'll catch up, but it's frustrating...plus its the CU mission week this week and there's loads of events on and I'm probably going to miss most of them :(

on friday I managed to make it in for my induction at work because I didn't want to miss it and they were lovely about me only having to do a bit which was sat at a computer, they said I could do the rest another time. unfortunately it made me feel horrible! it was the sitting up, concentrating on the information bit that just made me feel nausous and stuff. I got through the bits I needed to and booked in some shadowing shifts so it was beneficial but it took me the rest of the afternoon to recover back down to my usual level of feeling crap.
and then yesterday we played cards as a family which was fun, but I started to feel worse again which was frustrating because I was finally doing something fun and I had to stop.

Basically this is just another blog where I'm ranting about how crap I feel! I do apologise for that but I need somewhere to let it out :)
Hope everyone is well, pray for me please!
Much love xxx

urgh!

it's been a week since my last blog and on the day of my last blog I started to feel ill and have felt ill since then :( basically I have a headache, slight temperature and feel dizzy...I went to see the doctor last friday just because it's not a bug I've had before and the doctor said it's probably a virus and to rest up, drink fluids and take painkillers so that's what I did...all weekend...on monday I wasn't feeling much better so I went back to see the doctor because that's what my doctor said to do if I wasn't getting better...saw a different doctor who said it could be sinusitus and so prescribed me some nasal spray to clear my sinuses.

basically at this point I'm just very frustrated...with a normal cold or something I would just carry on as normal and let my body fight it off...but because I'm dizzy when I stand up I can't do much but lie on the sofa. And actually at this point, when I have been lying on the sofa for a while I feel much better, slight headache and temperature still but pretty good...then I stand up again and am dizzy and off-balance, then when I sit down I get a head-rush type thing but bad...it's not nice :(

and it's been carrying on for a week now, I had to miss uni on monday and tuesday. my goal is to be better by Friday since I have my induction booked for my new job and would really like to do that. Mum has said she could drive me in and apparently I would be sitting down for most of it, I think it's online training basically but who knows...I'm going to try sitting up more tomorrow to see how I feel, in the hope that I feel alright and can get through the induction.

I also have social stuff planned over the weekend, couple of cinema trips- things like that..which I really want to do. I think if I'm still bad enough on Friday that I can't make it into induction then I'm going back to the doctor. the doctor I saw on Monday said that it could also be anaemia related, and it's not the first time this has been mentioned and throughout all the blood tests I've had over the last year the level that indicates anaemia has been on the lower side so maybe that's what it is.
Maybe it's just sinusitus that's taking a while to go away, maybe it's just a weird bug, maybe it's something completely different!
Either way I wish it would go away, I'm getting frustrated being confined to the sofa, I miss my friends so much it's stupid!

Right, that's all I have to say, sorry it's not a more interesting post, but nothing else has really happened since last week other than me being ill so you have to live with it!
Much love xxx

what type of blogger am I?

Today my fellow blogger Anna F was named under the 'Blogs of note' section...very impressive award indeed :) her blog is fab, very funny and articulate and she tends to comment on general things not just use it as a diary (check is out: http://www.almostdailyexploits.com/)

And it made me start to wonder what type of blogger I am...truthfully I would love to say that I'm a funny and articulate writer who talks about relevant things not just her own life...however that would be a big fat lie!
My blog is all about me, mostly I use it as a tool to let the few people that read it what is going on in my life, it also is used as a means to rant. Writing my blog is generally a theraputic thing for me, writing about what I'm thinking helps get it out of my thoughts...I was starting to worry about this being a bad thing but then I remembered what someone once wrote about me:

"whilst people like peter brewer write on the internet because they have things they want to say, sarah is different. she has no purpose, no great goal with her blog. she just has a strangely addictive and loving personality, and the desire to rant. she'll often rant about nothing at all, but it doesn't matter, because you just can't help but care and enjoy the insights into her life"

that was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about me and to this day it still makes me feel warm inside...I don't have a great goal with my blog, I'm just a girl with a 'strangely addictive and loving personality' and I like ranting about my life. so I think I'll keep doing that and leave the funny and articulate blogging to Anna!

Much love xxx

SNOW :D :D :D

It’s snowed!

It snowed on monday but not that much, not enough that uni was cancelled, but enough that we had a snowball fight!

and then the snow started to go and I got a little sad :( I love snow but it was going away…

and then last night the forecast was that it would snow again…alot! and it did :D I was awake at midnight when it started and it settled quickly and was heavy and when I woke up this morning the town was covered with about 4 inches of snow!

it’s so exciting! but since I’m home and PJ’s had to go to school, I haven’t made a snowman or anything…I threw some snowballs and played in the snow but was by myself :(

I’ll make PJ help me make one when he gets back, and might head into oxford tonight just so I have people to share the snow with!

Much love xxx

what a brilliant weekend :D

I’m being genuine actually! I had a fab weekend :) yesterday I had lunch and saw a movie with Kate, which was so nice, we had a real catch up. and then we stopped in to see Lucy for a bit which was lovely too. and then I was out for dinner with some LF people to brainstorm about all-age services, they asked for my ‘expertise’ which was really nice that they wanted my opinion and really valued my experience.

then today I went to St.Ebbes in the morning with Teresa and Claire which was good fun, nice service and I got to see people I’d got to know at BASC which was good. Then I had a pretty quiet afternoon doing odd jobs and chilling out, before going to Northcourt Road in the evening for the baptism and confirmation service which was AMAZING! it was so brilliant to see members of the youth who had been through Godzone and into Pathfinders and who’s journeys I’d been fortunate enough to witness and possible even influence. Particularly some of the girls who I’d worked really close with and been with at New Wine when they had some real turning points, I was so proud of them for standing up and wanting to publicly dedicate themselves to God- they are why I love youth work and kids work so much. To see the growth in them was amazing and it gave me goosebumps!

And to top it all off- it snowed! only a little bit so far but apparently we’re due for alot more tonight and tomorrow :D

I have to get up early tomorrow to catch the bus to lectures which is a bittersweet experience…I’m excited to be going back and getting stuck in again…but I hate early mornings!

That’s all I have to write for now. Oh except to say another really cool thing that happened this weekend was during the evening service tonight, Mum and Dad and I were all sat together and we were really worshipping together…not just stood alongside each other…really together…Mum’s come back from a kids workers conference totally jazzed up about God which is really cool- can be slightly *roll your eyes* sometimes coz she is my mum and when she’s the only one that jazzed up and everyone else is…well, normal…it can be a little weird- but definitely inspiring and worshipping together felt amazing…it wasn’t forced or like any of us were trying, it just happened and I loved it.

Ok I really am done now! Need to get to bed and sleep if I’m getting up early- urgh!

Much love xxx