so I had my blood test and got the results today, one of my levels is still high. its really weird to have just this level up apparently...my doctor is phoning me tomorrow to talk about it.
this latest hiccup has thrown me a little bit...I can't really explain it...I know I'm fine, I haven't got a life-threatening condition because otherwise my other levels would be showing something...I guess I just assumed that this blood test would be all clear and it would be over.
I feel like this whole year has been filled with little speed bumps that have tested me in different ways...not getting into UWE, not getting the halls I thought I would, different challenges at work...its made me grow up and definitely deepened my faith...I'm just trying to figure out how that helps me in this situation.
For instance, I now know to think in a straight line before bed, write down my thoughts first because otherwise I think in circles and can't sleep. I know that God wouldn't give me more than I can handle. I know that anything that happens is ok because He's with me.
But that doesn't stop the horrible knot in the pit of my stomach that gives me that uncomfortable feeling where I almost want to cry just in order to let the emotion out.
I've got that knot right now.
I don't know whether you're following any of this. I just needed to get it out before I could go to bed. It's not like I can change anything about the blood test tonight and I can't talk to the doctor any earlier so I should just relax. Unfortunately that's easier said than done!
Either way I'm going to bed now, I'm going to pray for peace and hopefully get a good night's sleep because I think that I look like i need it!
will write tomorrow about what the doctor says.
much love xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment