old and new

I managed to get myself into a bit of a sad mood just now. I saw on facebook that Beth is in a relationship…now I think I already now about this but it made me realise that I don’t think I’ve seen Beth since August. I’ve texted her and facebooked her but only had a couple of replies. She’s very busy, even when she’s not studying she’s involved in shows and doesn’t get to come home very often.

I miss her.

I miss her so much it’s crazy. That girl has been in my life for years and is one of my best friends. I still see Hannah and talk to her lots. And Anna calls me every week or so to catch up. But when Beth started college and I started 6th form we began to not see each other for a week or two and then we’d catch up and it’d be fine. Since she’s been and uni, and especially since I’ve been at uni too, I haven’t seen her or talked to her and I miss her. She just understands me in a crazy special way and I can tell her anything. Literally anything.

I needed someone to talk to about this blah, sad thing I was feeling and who was online? Teresa. my new brilliant uni friend who I’m hoping to live with next year. She totally understood and was so supportive. and more than that, she reminded me that God is in control. I can keep my home group of friends and develop new uni ones, that’s fine. but if friendships grow apart despite your efforts then maybe God has a bigger plan.

Now I’m not saying that God doesn’t want Beth and I to be friends, that’s just stupid. And it doesn’t mean I’m giving up trying. It just means that our friendship has changed and that there is a reason for that. One that God has control of. And giving that over to God reminded me how BIG he is and how small I am and that was very humbling.

Beth is supposed to be home this week so I plan to move mountains to see her. I will see her lots over Christmas and I plan to fight for this friendship. And I’m sure she misses me as much as I miss her.

So the old might be changing but it’s still there, and the new is coming in and I have to admit, is pretty amazing.

In other news: first 2 assignments are completed and I’m handing them in tomorrow. advent starts tomorrow, I have my calendar and I’m getting super excited about Christmas, in 16 days I’ll be finished until February and that’s what I’m holding onto!

Much Love xxx

UPDATE: Beth just text me. As soon as I handed it over to God I got a text- his timing is amazing! She's home and wednesday and wants to see me as much as I want to see her!