9 months since my last post...

It's been 9 months since my last post...apologies...

Recently I've been reflecting back on the last few years of my life. Have I really changed as a person? Do I want the same things? Am I any closer to achieving them?

Some things have changed a lot; I now have a proper job that I love and a few other voluntary roles that enable me to develop my skills and start to work out where I'm going with my career.
I'm not doing my social work job anymore but that's ok, I'm still doing social work of sorts through my other jobs. I've discovered that if I put my mind to it, I can work hard and achieve great things (got a 2:1 in my degree and tomorrow I get my science GCSE result).
I've really accepted who I am and the giftings that God has given me, I've been challenged with different roles and jobs and have grown incredibly in my faith.

Some things haven't changed at all: I still live at home but I'm more comfortable with staying away. I'm still at Christ Church but my friendship circle has grown and I've realised that I would choose to go there regardless of my family. I'm still single but God has done a lot of work in me and is definitely preparing me for the right man to come along in His timing. I still have no children, but God has blessed me with a job where I get to hang out with gorgeous kids all day, a ministry where I get to teach kids about God, and my first beautiful godson has come along which has been a real affirmation of how much God has created me to be a mum.

I am still a major control freak, and I still find it difficult to trust people fully.
But I'm more content with my life, and I'm consciously trying to trust God and give control to him.

Over the last few years I have been kicked a fair few times (panic attacks in halls, horrible placement, limbo about jobs and my future) but God has been loving and gracious and my relationship with him is deeper every day.

A few weeks ago I got a 'kick' and it hurt...a lot! But teenage Sarah would've cried for ages, stamped her feet, been bitter and bitchy about the situation, and probably made her parents sort it out for her.

But Present Day Sarah handled it differently...sure I still went to Blenheim and had a good cry about it, but then I prayed, I sought wise counsel from people I trust, I looked to God to help me understand it and I have managed to discern His word from the human hurt. I'm not naive enough to think that this means I've got faith sorted because I'm definitely still very flawed...but God has helped me to handle it in the most gracious and mature way possible. He has shown me that if I honour Him in the way I behave then He will honour me and protect me.

Life can suck sometimes and we can get beaten down and kicked about, but God is good and He has a plan. If you have the courage to step off the tightrope then it can be terrifying but it's also incredibly freeing. I love it...you could say that it's almost like I'm 'flying' :p

Much love xxx