Rollercoaster Weekend

So this weekend was the Godzone Sleepover Weekend (yep that's right, all capitals...) and this is one of my favourite weekends! Full of fun with lovely kids at church playing silly games, learning more about God and generally exhausting ourselves for the Lord!

However I didn't really sleep Friday night and woke up with a stomachache...I told myself that it was just hunger because I hadn't eaten much on Friday and so I had some toast, followed by a Mcdonalds breakfast with PJ, Little Miss Ross and Mister Ross and headed to church to start the day.
The morning consisted of kids arriving, making a cool craft and the kids doing a bible study whilst we set up for lunch. (oh and brought expensive milk!)
By lunchtime my stomach was hurting again...decided it was probably just stomachache so ate a little bit of lunch.

The afternoon began with a brilliant widegame...teenagers dressed as ninjas, bikers and grannies (not for any reason, just for fun...I wore a cape!) and the kids having fun running around trying to find us. My stomach was still hurting so I just chilled out in one place!
Following this we had a brilliant time teaching the kids about prophesy which involved us as leaders and them as kids all praying for each other and receiving words from God...it was such a blessing to see the kids praying for each other and getting pictures/words.

Then came the party- 19 kids became 64 kids and I rushed around doing several different things without really doing much!
Dinner came and nothing really appealled to me...stomachache meaning that I only fancied eating oranges, carrots and some bread...had some medicine and realised that I was starting to feel worse...told myself it was just a stomachache, probably tiredness too, and went off to do 3 puppet sketches and a load of actions at the front of the party!

The other kids left and we took the sleepover kids over to set up their beds, I headed up the girls room and had fun getting the girls all ready before the film.
Off to the film...I got the kids all settled before going into the kitchen to help with tea...except the smell of food just made me feel worse....maybe a sit down...wow I really was starting to feel bad...
Found Mum and she sat me down, got me to just stop for a minute...it helped, I felt a bit better. Except then I moved...ah then I felt bad again...deep breaths...smell of food making me feel worse...Mum gently suggested that maybe I shouldn't stay over...I reluctantly agreed and then cried.
Mum took me home.

I hated leaving, I wanted to stay, I wanted to join in with expensive milk and putting the girls to bed and the morning service and everything.

Even as I went home I told myself, and Mum, that it was just tiredness and that I would feel better once I got home and that I should be staying...



At 1am as I threw up multiple times I acknowledged that maybe I was actually ill :(


I'm glad I wasn't sick at church and that I didn't get the kids sick either.
I wish I could've been there to enjoy the whole experience but there's always next year.
I have absolutely no idea how I got through yesterday.
I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to get through this week.

I do know that I need to go sleep and that it's not in my hands anyway...thankfully I implicitly trust His hands and I'm going to try and leave my worries with Him.
Much love xxx

Lent

Today is Pancake day (yey!) and that means that tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and people have started thinking about what they want to give up for Lent (boo!)...
Different people have suggested different things that they could give up and things that I could give up and I have many reasons for dismissing them...some better than others!

- Chocolate (possible but I'm already limiting my chocolate, not sure I could eliminate it!)
- Alcohol (definitely do-able but I don't drink enough for it to really be counted)
- Biscuits (don't eat many biscuits but I do enjoy them alot so definitely a possibility)
- Work (haha I wish I could!)
- Bread (no...I'm a carbs girl unfortunately...bread just can't be replaced)

and the ultimate option:
-Facebook
I'm sorry but I can't do it....one of my best friends T is doing it and all credit to her, she is potentially on it as much as I am, which is partly my fault since I peer pressured her into getting it, and I'm impressed she is doing it and will support her all the way. But I can't do it...for a whole host of reasons...ranging from 'what would happen to my farm??' to 'How would I know what events were happening?' to 'how would I know what my overseas friends were doing?'

That last one is slightly more serious, my friends in the UK could text or email me and I would be able to see them. But what about my friends overseas who can't send me a text message...or actually even my friends who are away at uni in the UK, I like to know how they are getting on without them having to text me or call me all the time.

But I suppose I could deal with that...
However the one thing I can't deal with is the fact that I have assignments due throughout Lent...during assignments I get stressed out and I use facebook as a way to let out that stress, to distract myself with silly farm-based games, to cry out to my uni friends for help...

I wish I could give it up, and people will say that I shouldn't be so reliant on a social networking site, but right now, which assignments hanging over my head and stress in my life, I want to keep the small pleasures in life (facebook, chocolate, bread...) and I don't think there's that much wrong with that.


So what to give up for Lent? I might try the biscuits thing...but ultimately I was thinking about what Lent is about, and part of it is about giving up something like alot or spend too much time on, in order to focus more on God. I think that might be the key actually...rather than trying to give something up (because I like all my small pleasures) I think I'm going to decide to take 15 minutes each day to just focus on God. This is possibly something I should be doing already, but I'll be honest and admit that I'm not.
But for Lent I'm going to...I'm going to find 30 minutes each day and spend some time with God, sometimes praying, sometimes reading the bible...and sometimes to lying alone in his presence...I think that it is also important for me to take some time each day for me too :)

This is a long blog but an important blog :) not giving something up but gaining something instead...I like that.
Much love xxx

Overwhelmed

Sorry for the lack of blogs...there's been alot going on...I'm back at uni and on placement still and the amount of work I need to do is starting to sink in.
Sunday I felt very overwhelmed, particularly because of how busy my weekends are over the next few weeks which cuts down on my time to do assignment work- I had a bit of a cry and then took a deep breath and kept going.

My mum made a good point, I've done it before and I'll do it again...I was just feeling very unmotivated. Today I took a half day and came home, relaxed a bit and then did some work. I actually got more done that I'd planned and am feeling alot less stressed about my portfolio (the 10,000 word piece of work for my placement).

In other news I stayed in Oxford again last week and am planning to stay again tomorrow night. I think that I've finally gotten to that place where I'm able to stay in Oxford when it's convenient which is exactly what I wanted.

I think that's a good update, will try and write a more exciting blog soon :)
Much love xxx

Results :)

I got my results- 3 B+'s and an ungraded pass for my portfolio :D
I'm very happy with that...part of me would've loved an A for the childrens module just because it'd the area I want to work in but I didn't put an A piece of work in so I can understand why I didn't get it! I didn't expect a B+ in research though so I'm super pleased with that!

I realise that it's been almost a week since I got my results, I just hadn't gotten around to posting them up- sorry! It's been a tiring and busy week, not for any reason, just general placement and work stuff.

I'm back at uni this week which I'm really looking forward to actually :) I need to do some work tomorrow but I think I'm on track with things. Having planned out my term I realise I don't have that much time to get work done but I think it'll go quickly!
Anyway I'm tired so going to go to bed soon
Hope that was enough of an update until my next blog!

Much love xxx

Update on Dad

Dad has had surgery and is out and doing well :)
We've been to see him and although he was still with oxygen, drips, drains etc, he's looking pretty good. So hopefully this is the start of the recovery.
It's been a long time but at least we're on the way now.
I'm shattered...it's been a tough week at placement but it's looking up now.
I'm nervous about results on monday but there's not alot I can do about it, just going to have to endure the stress and see what happens!

time for an update

It's been a week since I blogged so thought I would update :)
especially because we got a letter from Hannah and she asked a few things so I thought I woul catch her up.

I've been back at placement this week despite more snow- this is mostly due to staying in Bicester for a few nights this week- although last night I probably should've stayed and I came home instead because quite frankly I just wanted to be at home in my own bed!
Placement has been a bit stressful this week, nothing in particular just several small things that have me wishing it was the weekend.

Dad's having his operation next week, I'm praying it goes well and that we can all get through this last week...it's been difficult- he's frustrated because he can't do anything or so dopey because of meds or wiped out and fed up because he's tried to do too much...and we swing between feeling bad for him and wanting to strangle him! The operation is going to be tough for him but at least then we're on the road to recovery and that can't come quick enough for any of us.

My results are out in just over a week (Mon 25th Jan) and although I'm not stressing out just yet i.e. I haven't had one of my weird dreams about either getting the results and them being rubbish or just not being able to get them for some reason...but it is in the back of my mind that they are coming and that these ones actually count towards my final degree!

I think that's everything in my life...mental checklist: placement, family, uni....yep that's about everything! I've seen Dina quite a bit and chatted to my other friends but home friends have gone back to uni and uni friends aren't back for term yet...although I get to see some social work friends at the weekend so that's good.

In random news: I'm totally in love with the new tv series Glee...it's been out in the states for a couple of months but it's only just come over here and it's all-singing and all-dancing and you can download their songs and I love it! I'm officially a Gleek!

That's all for now I think
Much love xxx

Torn

I'm torn between absolutely loving the snow...and hating that I have to miss placement.
I missed Wednesday and today, and will probably have to miss tomorrow. I could get part-way to Bicester reasonably safely but it's the smaller roads that are still very snowy and icy that are just too dangerous.
I've managed to do my formative assignment though, and have done a bit of placement work from home but I'm going to have to make up these days somewhere. It's entirely do-able but just annoying.

Although I can't be too annoyed because I do love the snow, it's just such a beautiful example of God's creativity and wonder...plus it's fun to play in and pretty to look at!

I'll try and get some photos up on here if I can :)
Much love xxx